and OMG, I WANT TO EAT! What is wrong with me? I'm a social eater, not an emotional eater.
But, as I've been sitting here with tears streaming down my face for the last hour, I keep thinking of what food might taste good enough to comfort me & stop the tears. This is not me, I don't do this... I swear I don't.
Why am I like this today?
Well... let's see here... Monday is the anniversary of when my Dad died and as I've hinted at in the past there are things that have come up over the last few months which are making it way harder to deal with this year... processing "new" things I guess you could say. I knew I was likely to have a hard time "dealing" over the weekend and I knew The Husband was most likely going to be stuck at work all weekend (I am & he is). So on Monday I asked the BFF if we could take the kids to Chuck E Cheese today. I try not to eat there, but the kids have fun playing (and to be honest so do I). Plus, I figured get out of the house, keep busy, I'd be okay emotionally. Its just when I'm alone with my thoughts that I can't seem to deal. Anyway, she said that would work & she'd see if her new boyfriend wanted to come along with his daughter too. No problem there, he seems to be a nice guy and his daughter gets along well with my son (no small feat there, lol).
Thursday the BFF tells me that she is sending her daughter to her Dad's for the weekend and then starts listing her plans for the weekend - clean up day at the dog park (with the bf I'm sure) and he's doing a bunch of maintenance on her vehicle for her. Whoa! What happened to our plans? But of course, I'm not in the mood for drama or excuses so I don't say anything. Bottom line, she "forgot" or decided she'd rather do something else... and I'm home... alone... crying my little eyes out... and no way to go anywhere since The Husband has our one and only vehicle at work. Yes, technically my son is home and yes, I'll probably try to get him to do something with me later in the day... but he just got a new game for his DS so that could be more fight than its worth.
I guess the silver lining to this is that there's not really any bad for me foods in the house except that chocolate from yesterday's post (thank God I don't bring them in)... now if I can just keep from going overboard what is here... Do you remember all of the cheese in the pic yesterday? Its all in the fridge along with enough bagels, english muffins & tortillas to make an elephant fat...
After all I've been through... please do not let this be where I turn into an emotional eater!