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How "The Accidental Fat Chick" Hatched...

Welcome to The Accidental Fat Chick's new online home!

During the summer 0f 2008, I woke up one morning with a drive to live a healthy lifestyle. Since then, I've made many changes and lost nearly 50 pounds. Many of my friends and family members have come to me, asking about what I'm doing & how I'm doing it. While I certainly would never claim to be an expert, I'm happy to share what I've learned along the way.

So after careful thought... "The Accidental Fat Chick" has hatched... with the hope of helping at least one person and to be the accountability I need to finish what I started. :)

Thank you for visiting!!









Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Husband & The Scale Have Formed An Alliance!!!

I swear to you it is true - The Husband & The Scale have formed some sort of evil alliance... and right now I have some choice words running through my mind for the both of them. See I think it goes something like this:

The Husband walks into the bathroom & The Scale says to him: "I'm tired of displaying a smaller number week after week. I feel so small and insignificant as the numbers go down. Please! Help me!!! I NEED to see those big numbers... for my self esteem!" (At this point The Scale is near tears... I'm sure of it.)

The Husband thinks about this & tells The Scale: "Well, I don't know what I can do."

The Scale continues his (yes it is definitely a "he") plight: "You know this isn't all about me, its about you too. Think of all the things you're missing out on while my numbers are going down."

This catches The Husband's attention and as he exits the bathroom, he says "You have no idea what I'm missing. Help is on the way!"


For The Husband's part, he puts his plan into practice on regular basis - nearly every day & sometimes more than once in the same day. He has devised a multi-step plan of attack to help The Scale. Step one: "Innocently" want to take me out to breakfast or lunch. Step two: Repeatedly carry on about how he wants pizza, a cheeseburger, Mexican food, fill in the blank with any other indulgence you can think of. He usually will persist with pleading until I have given in to one of these steps; there comes a point where its give in or deal with his "unhappiness." Step three: He will bring home a bag of chips (or other munchies), open them & leave the bag sitting out on the counter to tempt me each & every time I walk through the kitchen. Step Four: When we are out & about, he will ever so "conveniently" want to stop off at 7-11 & become upset if I refuse to go into the store with him. Its like he wants to suck me into that world of temptations... Seriously WTH???

I know its up to me what I put in my body... but oooohhhhhh the pure pressure (and utter lack of support)... this little alliance of theirs has assisted me in eating:

  • pizza
  • cookies
  • ice cream
  • taco bell
  • hot dogs
  • jalapeno cream cheese taquitos
  • sugary soda
  • hash browns
  • french toast
  • breakfast sausage
  • chips & queso

And, that's all in just the last week! Yikes!!!!

The Scale was handsomely rewarded by their evil alliance today... it was more than happy to display a number 2.4 higher than last weeks number. You could almost feel it doing a little happy dance under me.

Guess what?!? Its time to break up the evil alliance, IMMEDIATELY. I'm gonna kick them both in the butt!

Honestly, doesn't The Scale know that BIGGER isn't always BETTER?!? And as for The dear sweet Husband... if he wants that crap he can get it on his own time!

Scale? Husband? Do you hear me? Your time together is OVER!!!!

8 comments:

Keelie said...

I feel your pain! Good luck on the butt kicking!

Luna Moon said...

Perhaps you should talk with him-your husband, not the scale.

PhluffyPrincess said...

omg this post had me laughing aloud!!! i live alone now, but i remember when i lost weight while living at home...my father would bring in all kindsa goodies. and then look at me and my mother and say...i need to do something about this weight also. smh. u can do it...speak to him about the scale's victory this week and what role he's played in it!

Greta from www.bigbottomblogger.blogspot.com said...

Breakfast out: a plain omelette with a bit of cheese...hold the potatoes/toast/pancakes....add some veggies. Works well and is really yummy and filling!

The pizza and burgers and chips...yeah..those just need to not happen.

Tell him you need his support for a while. Tell him how you are struggling and ask him how he thinks he might be able to help. (put the ball in his court...then he takes some ownership over it)

Hang in there! Tomorrow is another day!

mandy said...

OMG! Your husband must have been talking to my husband. Its a conspiracy! My husband is up to the EXACT same thing. And when you gain one week does he say, "Honey, are you falling off the wagon?" LMAO

Drazil said...

LOL - you're too funny!

LauraLynne said...

Husband/Scale Kryptonite: Minty gum!! pop a piece into your mouth and hopefully that will help fight off their evil plan! Good luck!
(and I would have thrown the scale at my husband's head by now - you've got GREAT willpower and that proves it!)

Scuttleboose said...

This is genius... and if you ever figure out the solution to the husband part, PLEASE tell me :)