Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I have a confession... You were right! Go ahead say "I told you so."

Living a healthy lifestyle is A LOT of work and takes time from other things that need attention. There's time spent at the gym, planning meals, preparing healthy meals, writing down what you eat and all the other things that come with it. Yes, this takes time away from the family, friends & Church. Yes, it means that I may not be as available for every little thing as I once was.

But its worth it! Its worth it because I can run & play with my son. Its worth it because I am teaching my son to make good choices with the food he puts into his body. Its worth it because (hopefully) when he is a grown man he won't have to suffer from the stress & burden of seeing his Mom struggle with all of the health issues that can be avoided by choosing a healthy lifestyle. Its worth it because when all is said and done.... I believe...

I am worth it!!!!

It breaks my heart that in all of your life, you've never thought YOU were worth it... that you've never believed YOU were worth the time & effort required to live a healthy lifestyle & take care of yourself. Will you realize that YOU are worth the effort before time runs out? I pray every day that you do... because I don't know how I'll ever explain to Garrin that his Grandma is gone due to something she could have prevented (or at least delayed) and you know there will be no skirting the issue with the way his brain is wired... but most because you're my Mommy & I want you to love yourself & KNOW THAT YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Love,

Julie

Livin on a Prayer & Other Revelations

First of all, thank you so much for all of the encouraging comments after my last post. You ladies are the best! :) I'm sorry its taken me so long to get back here & write again... my night of thought actually lasted far into Friday & then the weekend was busy, busy with family & friends.

After much thought & self-reflection, I have to say I've been approaching things with a "Livin on a Prayer" mentality on an increasingly frequent basis. What do I mean by this? Simply, I've fallen into a habit of doing what works in the moment as far as my meals & exercise (or lack there of)... and then when scale day rolls around I say a silent prayer as I step on to the scale that somehow, by some miracle, the number will be kind to me. Yes, I have gotten lucky the last two weeks & not seen an increase on the scale... but I think luck has run out. It doesn't take much thought to figure out that when I plan meals & do meal prep early in the week, I'm much less likely to fall into this pattern of doing without regard to the big picture. Next step in the self-revelation... what do I do about it???

Revelation #1: A few days ago, I asked if living a healthy lifestyle ever felt like a full time job to anyone else. The overwhelming response is YES it does & then some. So... I believe its time to approach this healthy lifestyle as I would a job where I was being paid (and there is definitely a reward for the hard work of this "job"), rather than attempting to squeeze it into my normal time frame for meal planning/prep & fitness. This means planning my days with specific times on the agenda for the gym, meal planning & prep, meal & exercise tracking, and blogging. I'm not quite sure how that's going to look yet, but I plan to figure it out for the upcoming week before I go to bed tonight... then I can hit the ground running in the morning.

Revelation #2: I need to get serious about tracking my meals! On the days I plan my meals, I do a decent job of sticking to it... the other days I pretty much shrug off writing down what I'm eating. Somehow, I've gotten out of the habit of entering my food on myfooddiary... and I can tell that its hurting me.

And an FYI for you: March is the month my Dad passed away... 22 years ago. I know its been a LONG time and so many people tell me just to be over it already. But, I'm sorry, its not something you ever get over... especially when you lose a parent in childhood. I'm the type of person who so strongly associates dates, times & places with the joys & heartbreaks of my life that just waking up knowing its such and such day can take me right back to the emotion of the situation (no matter how much time has passed). This year, I think things are worse for me than they've been the last few years due to some other losses over the past year. I mention this not so much because I'm an emotional eater, but because when I'm sad its hard to motivate myself to do much of anything, so things like getting meals planned & going to the gym are way more difficult... and I think we all know what happens to me if I don't have meals planned...

Highlight of the weekend: Saturday was gorgeous here on the island. With rain looming in the forecast, I decided to drag the husband and my son out for a walk with me. After packing each of us a bag with healthy snacks (more of a mini lunch I suppose), we piled in the car & headed out with no specific destination. We ended up at one of the nearby state parks- we are super luck to have 3-4 within a few minutes drive. This one sits right on the water & has trails all over. My plan was to walk the trail that goes along the bluff overlooking the water & then go to the part where you can get down to the beach; but apparently my son's sense of direction had other plans for us. We let him choose a trail & ended up on two miles of trails that went up & down steep hills, some parts with big ruts & tree roots to climb over. Normally, I don't really count these outings as exercise, just part of an active outing for the family... but let me tell ya right now this one I counted! It was very challenging & my heart rate was definitely up there for most of it. By the time we got back to the car, we had walked just shy of 2.5 miles and I was comfortably exhausted!

One of the "easy" trails & The view from our picnic table

Well... I guess I'd better get back to work on planning my week if I want to see dreamland any time soon. Hope everyone had a good weekend & best wishes for a Happy Monday!

Explosion Imminent!!!

Sorry this isn't going to be a happy post... so if you need happy you might wanna stop reading now. :) Seriously, I am ready to burst!!! Out of frustration? Regret? Unhappiness? Discontent? A combination of them all?

Today was predetermined to be an out-of-the-ordinary day. Normally, I babysit just on Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday; but my friend had a meeting today, so I knew I'd be baby sitting. In my mind, I planned around that and knew that in order to make both the gym & grocery shopping today one would have to be done this morning. But I was soooo tired that I fell asleep on the sofa after my son got on the bus; next thing I knew it was 10:30... oops. So trying to regroup, I decided I could squeeze both in after my son's therapy sessions tonight. Wrong again! He forgot his coat at the hospital; one of his therapists offered to drop it off & by the time she got here it was too late to attempt both since I have to be home for the night by 6:30 for family responsibilities tonight.

Honestly, I don't know quite why I'm upset to the level I am. Some level of irritation I could rationalize... but really I'm ready to scream , cry or some combination of the two... and its ridiculous. Maybe its because I'm mad at myself for sleeping this morning, knowing it was going to be such a busy day. Maybe its because I procrastinated on getting meals planned & the grocery shopping done. Maybe its because my workouts have been so minimal this week & missing another day is frustrating. Maybe its because I feel myself slipping back into the pattern of letting everything & everyone else come before doing what I need to do to live a healthy lifestyle... and while I know I can't let that happen, finding the balance is feeling totally overwhelming at the moment...

After I'm done with my family stuff tonight, I'm going to spend some serious time trying to figure out a solution... or at least some strategies to try for the next few weeks.... I used to be so much better at this part... I don't know what the heck happened!

An Award!!!

Yay!!! I got my first blogger award from Crystal at Fitness Journal. Thanks so much!!! :)

I get to pass the award on to 12 people. There are so many blogs I love reading, it was hard to pick just 12... but here are the 12 I chose:

1. MochaTrina @ Ahh...Me So Hongry
2. Moncica @ Confessions of a + Sized Girl
3. Mrs. Fatass @ Did I Just Eat That Out Loud?
4. Cara @ I Don't Believe in Diets
5. Katie @ KatieJ is on her way
6. Jennifer @ More of You Less of Me
7. Kristina @ Off the Couch
8. Keelie @ Real Fat
9. Shelli @ Skinny Jeans Fat Wallet
10. Buzzy & Breezelys Mama @ The Fat Chick Weigh
11. Ruth Anne @ The Skinny Turtle
12. Skuttleboose @ Lose the Boredom!

These are all people who inspire me & help me feel like I can keep going (even when I honestly would rather dive into a big bowl of ice cream). They remind me I'm far from alone in this process of living a healthier life & trying to balance that with the rest of my life. Thank you all for being there & sharing of yourselves. :)

Picking Battles

It would be an understatement to say I woke up
feeling like crapola today, pretty sure it has some-
thing to do with forgetting to take my "anti-baby"
pill with milk last night. Silly mistake on my part
but its done a fine job of messing with my entire
day.

Its one of those days where I feel like I have to pick my battles carefully because I'm not going to win them all. That said, I've conceded defeat and will be picking up dinner at McDonalds on the way to kids group tonight... I simply did not have the energy to stand in the kitchen preparing food to pack along. However, I did manage to have a healthy breakfast, lunch and snack... so its not as bad as it could be. I even drug my butt to the gym for a solid 30 minutes on the bike, not my usual intensity level & not nearly as long as I wanted to spend, but I figured something was better than nothing & it keeps me in the habit of going.

When something' s gotta give, which sacrifice do you think is easier to overcome - food or exercise?

Note to Self: Do NOT Pour Boiling Soup on Your Fingers!!! + Progress Pics

Guess what I did today: I made a delicious veggie soup & in the process of putting it into containers I managed to pour a whole ladle full over my hand. OUCHIE!!!! Thank goodness most of it was deflected by the container I had in my hand; however, my middle finger is bright red & blistering nicely. The good news is the soup came out awesome & I have four containers of it in the fridge for later in the week. Its my habit to throw soups together with whatever is on hand, so as soon as I retrace my steps & figure out exactly what I threw in the pot I will share the recipe. :-)

I did my scale day... I was down a little, .2 lb...which is somewhat disappointing, but I'll take it. The past week wasn't one of the greatest efforts as far as eating & getting to the gym.

Finally, progress pics!!!

These are just from January til now; I'll have to dig for a true "before" pic at some point. My plan is to do them on the first day of each month throughout the year. Putting them all side-by-side, the changes are subtle yet striking to me. Three things I really notice: 1) the muffin top is slowly becoming less noticeable, 2) my posture seems much straighter in the March photo and 3) my hair is growing really fast.

The outfit in these pics is my absolute favorite workout outfit. The story of piecing it together may be part of why I love it so much. Its a matched set, but I got it on two separate trips to Ross. The pants I had carried through the store & put back so I could get a handbag (yeah, I have a handbag addiction & I admit it lol). They were the only pair like them, so I knew I'd never get them. The next time we went, as expected, they were no where to be seen. But, a month or so later, we stopped in and they were there! I was so excited & even though I wasn't planning to buy pants I had to get them... they were meant to be, right?!? Its with mixed feelings that I report the pants have been retired from my workout wardrobe. They are just too big, the legs too wide, seriously I'll be face-planting on the StairMaster or treadmill if I try to wear them. Time to begin the search for their replacement... darn it... a reason to go shopping yet again! :-D

What is your favorite brand and/or style of workout pants?

Crazy Day (& Measurements)

Wow! This has been a crazy, non-stop day... definitely glad to be home & comfy on the sofa. First thing this morning, I did my monthly measurements. I lost 1/2" each from my chest & thighs, 1" each from my waist & hips, and there was no change in my arms or calves. I also took some progress pics, which I'll try to get posted tomorrow... way too tired to deal with it tonight.

First stop of the day was an hour or so in the gym. Not sure what's going on with my body, but I only lasted 10 minutes on the StairMaster (actually had to stop & catch my breath at about seven minutes). The only thing I can think is that I usually start with that & today I did it after the elliptical. I managed to burn a little over 600 calories... which is good because after the gym was an hour drive & lunch at Red Robin.

Last night, I spent a few minutes exploring meal options at Red Robin. It was pretty enlightening, even things I thought were possibly reasonable choices were over 1,000 calories. I had settled on the Ensenada Chicken, though its not my favorite it seemed like one of the more reasonable choices. Then I got the bright idea that perhaps I could modify my favorite, the Whiskey River BBQ Chicken Wrap. Turns out if you eat the filling without the tortilla, you save about 300 calories! Skip the ranch and you save almost another 300 calories! I contemplated ordering the wrap sans tortilla... but honestly one minute of talking to our waiter gave me the impression that such a request would have been WAAAAYYYYY too much for his brain to comprehend. So, I ordered it with the ranch on the side, ate the filling out of the tortilla with just a tiny bit of ranch mixed in. It was super yummy, no need for that calorie loaded tortilla. :-)

We (being me, my best friend, her soon-to-be-ex, their daughter, & his new girlfriend... seriously don't ask lol) shopped at Ross after lunch. The store was filled with cute things today. Its so funny because it used to be that I'd take a pile of things (size 2x) into the fitting room & if I was lucky one or two things would fit... so those would naturally be what I would get. Now, I go in with a pile of stuff (size Large) and they pretty much all fit... so I actually have to look at them & decide which look best and what ones I like the best. Decisions are NOT my strong point, I just want it all!!! Today, I settled for one top, a dress & a pair of red heels. The heels I fell in love with, now I'll have to create a reason to wear them since they are definitely NOT something I would typically wear... lol.

After a brief trip to the mall, we finally made it to Trader Joe's. Mostly, I got my basics of organic produce, hummus, frozen fruits, nuts, tortillas & snacks. One new thing I found was applesauce made with Gravenstein apples; my grandparents had a Gravenstein tree in their yard when I was growing up, but I don't find them very often. I'm so hoping that the applesauce will be yummy. Frozen pomegranate seeds were finally there & I'm looking forward to those being a heck of a lot easier than digging them out of the fruit. Also, I finally got some of the Almond Breeze milk; I've heard several people talking about it, so thought I'd give it a try. It was kind of a rushed trip through the store... but I managed to fill the cart nonetheless. My friend's little girl had one of the little kid carts, which she managed to crash & spill the contents all over the floor... so the trip was not without amusement. :-)

On the ride home, I was thinking of goals for the upcoming month. I came up with these: #1 Go to the gym for a minimum of 60 minutes, five days per week and #2 Limit restaurant food to one time per week. Consistency is really going to be key for the gym with the Around the World Challenge starting & I've been eating entirely too many meals in restaurants...

Do you have any goals in mind for the month of March?

Where's the "Do Over" Button???

Can this be Saturday afternoon? Could yesterday have been some sort of sick, really long, dream? Please??? Hmm... no chance of that happening... so I guess its time to fess up here. I slept in just a little bit, but the husband was anxious to get going for the day. For some reason, he wanted us to go shopping together... wondering what the heck is wrong with him. He rarely wants to go shopping with me, pretty sure he'd rather go to the dentist & have them forget the Novocaine.

In an effort to take advantage of this rare opportunity, I made some regrettable mistakes. I decided that I could skip the gym & failed to pack along snacks for the day. As if that's not all bad enough, when we were off on our shopping trip, I ended up eating Chinese food, ice cream and regular soda. And then when we got home, I ate a freakin hot dog. Seriously, what the heck happened to me???? I really don't know...

On the bright side, I found some awesome deals. Old Navy had the cutest little t-shirts on sale for $5 & an extra half off all of their clearance. It was nice to be able to get some clothes for my constantly growing child & a few t-shirts that will actually fit me well. At Ross, I found some Fit & Fresh containers for really cheap; hoping they will help with packing along quick foods for my busy days (and ones like yesterday). Last find of the day was The Biggest Loser for the Wii on sale for about half price. I hear mixed things about it, but thought for the price it's worth forming my own opinion.

Looking Forward

Today is pretty much my day to prepare for the week ahead - meal planning, gym schedule, family obligations, kids group stuff, a little "me" time - prep day needs to be preloaded with extra hours. :-)

Tomorrow, I get to go shopping at Trader Joes. I love shopping there, but since the nearest one is over an hour away from our house - off the island & north - I don't get to go very often. I have my basic list for there, but if anyone knows of something particularly yummy I'd love to hear about it.

Thank you everyone for the quick & easy food ideas. I'm looking forward to trying them & kicking this Around the World Challenge in the tush!

I Ran!!!!

Not very fast. Not very long. But I did indeed run on the treadmill at the gym last night... for two whole minutes. Ok, I know its not very much, but considering I've NEVER even walked any faster than maybe 3.4 on the treadmill I was pleased with myself. What made me do this? I don't know... perhaps it was Keelie's post over at Real Fat. She ran an entire 5K on the treadmill and I was thinking of her as I lugged my tush onto the treadmill (if you haven't noticed by now, I HATE the treadmill). There I was walking away, trying to convince myself I wasn't bored to death, and slowly increasing my speed... finally when I hit 3.8 I decided "lets see if I can actually run on this thing without falling flat on my face." Weird thing, I actually felt more comfortable running than I ever have walking on it. Now I think its going to be my new gym game, to try to add a minute (or however long I can last) each time I run on the treadmill. That's how I tricked myself into going from 35 to over 100 floors on the StairMaster. :-)

I found out last night that the gym is starting the Around the World Challenge early... two whole weeks early. This morning, I went back, signed up & paid the fee. I'm the first to sign up!!! I don't know whether I'm happy about it starting early or not... it definitely presents some challenges and adds more stress to my already packed schedule. But on the bright side, I won't be at the gym for eight hours finishing it up on Mother's Day this year. My Mom will thank them profusely when she hears... lol.

The challenge was highly rewarding for me last year because I'd never done any sort of physical challenge before. But, there was one problem that I'm hoping to find a solution for this year: I was spending sooooo much time at the gym that I ended up eating a lot fast food meals and other less than healthy things. Much of my hard work at the gym failed to be maximized because of this.

This time around, I'm really trying to plan ahead because I want to see the full effect of the challenge - physically & mentally. So I need a little help... What are some quick, easy meal & snack ideas?




On a final note: A big thank you to Crystal at Fitness Journal for mentioning my 2-4-8-10 Challenge on her blog today. :-)

Caught in the Act!!!

Yep, that's me... rifling through the basket of chocolate at kids group last night. I was anxiously searching for a Kit Kat. The closet thing I found was this...

It is a Kit Kat, technically, but white chocolate just doesn't cut it in my book. So I "settled" for nine Hershey's kisses. I made them last the entire two hours I was there by sucking each one slowly and really enjoying the flavor & texture in my mouth. And since I had left some wiggle room in my meal plan, knowing there would be chocolate there, no guilt for me. :-)

I stayed pretty close to my planned meals yesterday. I did eat one peanut butter creme Girl Scout cookie between breakfast & lunch. For snacks, I ended up skipping the grapefruit; but ate an extra string cheese.

The husband was being a computer hog this morning so I never got my meal plan for today posted. Breakfast was steel cut oats with strawberries, sliced almonds & milk. Regretfully, I ended up at Jack in the Box for a late lunch. I went in with the intention of having the Chicken Fajita Pita & water. But those darn curly fries sucked me into their curliness & forced me to ask for them; I swear they did! On the bright side, I talked myself out of having the sugary root beer along with it. So a little extra time in the gym tonight & a light dinner should compensate.

Does anyone else ever feel like living a healthy lifestyle is a full-time job?

Plan of the Day

Yesterday, I had such terrible lower back pain that I spent the day with muscle relaxers. And as my trainer says, the gym & muscle relaxers are NOT friends... so I had to skip. I was really disappointed and anxious to be there, especially with all the stuff I have left to do there.

This morning, my back is feeling better so far- a little tender, but not real pain. So my plan is to take it easy this morning & then put in a light workout at the gym. After that, if it hurts I will take a muscle relaxer. Hopefully it was just a one day deal... but really I'm not that lucky lol.

On the food front, my meal plan of the day is:

Breakfast- Mini Oat Pancakes with 1 Tbsp reduced fat peanut butter & 1 small banana

282 calories

Lunch- Salad with 2 cups chopped romaine, 1 cup chopped spinach, 1/8 cup chopped red onion, 2 oz shrimp, 1/2 oz. reduced fat feta, 1 Tbsp sliced almonds & 1 Tbsp light sesame dressing; 2 kiwi

266 calories

Dinner- 1 mini bagel with 1 Tbsp almond butter & 1 Tbsp sliced almonds; 1 apple

327 calories

Snacks (as needed throughout the day)- 1 grapefruit, 3 cups airpopped popcorn, 1 light string cheese

243 calories

Calories for the day: 1,118 (plus I'll undoubtedly have a couple pieces of chocolate at kids group, so that should put me at 1200ish)

I typically aim for 1400-1500 calories, but am trying to keep it lower on light or no workout days.

I'm hoping having my planned meals out here for the world to see will help me stick to them better. Debating between doing them as daily posts or putting them on their own page - what do you think???

Off to make my pancakes... hope everyone has a great day! :-)

Around the World & 2-4-8-10 Challenges

Before I get into the details of the challenges... I'm a bit perplexed, but the scale LOVED me this morning. I was sure that after the weekend of indulging I would be lucky not to gain (ok, I was really prepared to gain a hefty sum if I'm being brutally honest). But, according to the scale I was down 2.6 pounds from last week. I'm really pleased with the number and it makes me feel even more hopeful that's its possible to go enjoy a weekend from time to time, as long as its planned for in advance. :-)

Around the World Fitness Challenge

About a month after I started going to the gym, I saw a sign for the Around the World Fitness Challenge. Looking over the requirements, I was thinking to myself "there is no way I could do all that," but I wanted to do it nonetheless. The way it was set up, you could choose to do just part of it & I figured I'd pick & choose. Then a couple weeks into it someone (who shall remain nameless) said something about the whole thing being a stupid idea. It should be known that I don't take comments like that very well... so from that day forward I set out to complete the entire challenge.

The challenge requirements were:

• The Frequent Flier Challenge: 30 hours of workout time logged at the gym


• North America Challenge: 330 sets on Circuit machines


• South America Challenge: 276 sets of Core Strength


• Australia Challenge: 378 sets on Free Weights


• Asia Challenge: 48 miles on elliptical or Arc trainer


• Europe Challenge: 150 miles on bike


• Africa Challenge: 38 miles on treadmill or rower


• Antarctica Challenge: 2,100 floors on the StairMaster

There was a six week time period to complete everything. It took me until the very last day of the challenge, Mother's Day, to get it finished.... I spent just shy of eight hours in the gym that day (I credit Toby Keith & George Strait for keeping me going, their movies were on tv).... but I DID IT!!!!

For the girl who avoided gym class like the plague in school, this was a MAJOR accomplishment. At awards presentation, I won a gift certificate to a local spa... hmmm... maybe I should think about redeeming that one day soon.

The 2-4-8-10 Challenge

When things settled down from the holidays, my friend & I were looking for something to get us back to our gym routines... so we came up with a modified version of the Around the World Challenge... which we named the 2-4-8-10 Challenge. Basically the two (2) of us working for (4) size eight (8) in 2010 (10). We set 12 weeks for the time frame (so it will end when the gym's official Around the World Challenge starts) & multiplied the numbers from the Around the World Challenge by 1.75. My thought with this was that it would help me gear up for the gym's challenge & get my butt to the gym when I might skip otherwise.

We chose rewards for if we were half way to completion by the six week mark & then one for if we complete everything by the end of the 12 weeks. For six weeks, the reward was a trip to an upscale movie theater. For 12 weeks, its shopping for a new outfit at Westlake Center in Seattle (any excuse to shop in the city lol) The six week mark has passed and neither of us were halfway there. Some stuff happened in her personal life that got her off track & my needing to be there to support her got me off track too. I just finished reviewing how much I have left to do (in 5 weeks) and its remotely possible IF I make substantial time for the gym. Bottom line: I know, without a doubt, I'm getting to the gym more than I would have without the challenge & I will be better prepared for the gym's challenge than I was last year... so that's something.

As of today this is what I have left:

Elliptical - 78 miles

Bike- 130 miles

Treadmill- 59.3

StairMaster- 3,135

Circuit Sets- 421

Core Sets- 368

Free Weight Sets- 637

4 weeks, 5 days remaining... Can I do this?????

We will see....