Explosion Imminent!!!

Sorry this isn't going to be a happy post... so if you need happy you might wanna stop reading now. :) Seriously, I am ready to burst!!! Out of frustration? Regret? Unhappiness? Discontent? A combination of them all?

Today was predetermined to be an out-of-the-ordinary day. Normally, I babysit just on Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday; but my friend had a meeting today, so I knew I'd be baby sitting. In my mind, I planned around that and knew that in order to make both the gym & grocery shopping today one would have to be done this morning. But I was soooo tired that I fell asleep on the sofa after my son got on the bus; next thing I knew it was 10:30... oops. So trying to regroup, I decided I could squeeze both in after my son's therapy sessions tonight. Wrong again! He forgot his coat at the hospital; one of his therapists offered to drop it off & by the time she got here it was too late to attempt both since I have to be home for the night by 6:30 for family responsibilities tonight.

Honestly, I don't know quite why I'm upset to the level I am. Some level of irritation I could rationalize... but really I'm ready to scream , cry or some combination of the two... and its ridiculous. Maybe its because I'm mad at myself for sleeping this morning, knowing it was going to be such a busy day. Maybe its because I procrastinated on getting meals planned & the grocery shopping done. Maybe its because my workouts have been so minimal this week & missing another day is frustrating. Maybe its because I feel myself slipping back into the pattern of letting everything & everyone else come before doing what I need to do to live a healthy lifestyle... and while I know I can't let that happen, finding the balance is feeling totally overwhelming at the moment...

After I'm done with my family stuff tonight, I'm going to spend some serious time trying to figure out a solution... or at least some strategies to try for the next few weeks.... I used to be so much better at this part... I don't know what the heck happened!