Comfort Food Fest

On this cloudy, gray Sunday my BFF decided enough is enough and "forced" me to participate in Comfort Food Fest. So she didn't force me... more I allowed myself to indulge in a variety of foods that I usually limit to once in a while... all in the same night. We are talking HUGE quantities of pasta salad (have I ever mentioned that she makes the best pasta salad on the planet?), some tortilla chips & queso and a sizable bowl of double fudge brownie ice cream. Yes, I know bad, bad & more bad food choices... especially in the quantities and having them all in one huge meal.

But ya know what???

It was so nice to have someone care enough and want to spend a little of their time taking care of me that I would have eaten anything that was put in front of me.

Do I feel guilty for participating in Comfort Food Fest?

I feel guilty for a multitude of things... but this is not one of them.

One thing I do feel guilty about is my lack of blogging the last few months. Yes, summer was busy & time to write was a premium. Yes, there were days when I was plain & simply just too dang tired to do it. Yes, there were days (a few) when I literally had nothing on my mind to share. But, in all honesty, its more than that. The simple truth is that a lot of days I have chosen not to write because I was so miserable that I could hardly stand to be around myself, the thought of putting together a happy post was more than I could do, and the last thing I want is to be one of those people that writes negative post upon negative post. So I have sat in silence...

This is far from my first deployment... but its different in so many ways than any I have experienced before. Considering the state of my marriage for most of the last fifteen years, deployments have become something like a breath of fresh air for me - a time when I can breathe and be my true self for a few months. I still feel that sense of being able to breathe this time... its the being my true self part that I'm not feeling. I don't even know who or what that is anymore.

In the midst of being so sad and uncertain, I'm so thankful for a BFF that actually sees the need and takes the time to care even though she is incredibly busy. I hope everyone has someone they can turn to in time of need... because I'm once again reminded of how important that is... the difference it can make.

"Cereal Pa"

Most of my friends have mentioned a "favorite" food that their Mom made when they were growing up - usually something sweet & definitely far from healthy- that has now become a sort of comfort food for them. For me, this is a bit of a foreign concept. My Mom HATES food, cooking and pretty much anything to do with the kitchen. When I was a little girl, before my Dad passed away, I remember her making simple meals (definitely nothing memorable). After my Dad passed away, her primary method of food preparation was deciding which restaurant to drive us to for dinner. Hmmm... could this be why, as much as I LOVE cooking, I find myself drawn to the allure of restaurants so frequently?

While my friends have their "favorite" comfort foods from their Mom's... I have "cereal pa." My Grandpa's favorite cereal was Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, but when I was a little I couldn't say that & have always called it "cereal pa." I'm not big on sugary, fake flavored cereals, but this is one I can't seem to let go of... and I've pretty much decided not to. However, like so many things in my life... I have assigned little rules to it. #1: I will only buy it when its on sale (ie. no more than $2 per box) and #2: I only eat one bowl (measured serving) per box. Usually I make my bowl, the last serving in the box, so there's no chance of going back for more. This has worked well & kept me from eating it by the box.

A few weeks ago it was on sale for $1 per box, but you had to buy five boxes. Five boxes equals five bowls of my favorite cereal for me - or does it? I made it through boxes 1, 2 & 3 without having a single bowl. On box #4 I succumbed and had a bowl... unmeasured which is so not like me. Box #5 is in the cupboard, unopened... and I'm determined that when it is opened I will resist. One bowl out of five boxes seems reasonable... and I'm not feeling at all like I'm being deprived of something I love.

How do you keep from going overboard on foods you really like? Are there foods you have to totally avoid?

On another note: I'm finding it way more difficult to get back to my routine than I thought I would after the weekend. I mean it was only a couple days...but it feels like its been a couple months since I happily went to the gym & ate a "planned" meal. But I'm working on meal planning for the week (starting tomorrow) and will get to the gym later this evening.

I fell a little short on my mini-goal last week... gonna keep the same goal for this week. Hopefully a "normal" week will make it attainable. Hope every one's week is off to a good start!