Comfort Food Fest

On this cloudy, gray Sunday my BFF decided enough is enough and "forced" me to participate in Comfort Food Fest. So she didn't force me... more I allowed myself to indulge in a variety of foods that I usually limit to once in a while... all in the same night. We are talking HUGE quantities of pasta salad (have I ever mentioned that she makes the best pasta salad on the planet?), some tortilla chips & queso and a sizable bowl of double fudge brownie ice cream. Yes, I know bad, bad & more bad food choices... especially in the quantities and having them all in one huge meal.

But ya know what???

It was so nice to have someone care enough and want to spend a little of their time taking care of me that I would have eaten anything that was put in front of me.

Do I feel guilty for participating in Comfort Food Fest?

I feel guilty for a multitude of things... but this is not one of them.

One thing I do feel guilty about is my lack of blogging the last few months. Yes, summer was busy & time to write was a premium. Yes, there were days when I was plain & simply just too dang tired to do it. Yes, there were days (a few) when I literally had nothing on my mind to share. But, in all honesty, its more than that. The simple truth is that a lot of days I have chosen not to write because I was so miserable that I could hardly stand to be around myself, the thought of putting together a happy post was more than I could do, and the last thing I want is to be one of those people that writes negative post upon negative post. So I have sat in silence...

This is far from my first deployment... but its different in so many ways than any I have experienced before. Considering the state of my marriage for most of the last fifteen years, deployments have become something like a breath of fresh air for me - a time when I can breathe and be my true self for a few months. I still feel that sense of being able to breathe this time... its the being my true self part that I'm not feeling. I don't even know who or what that is anymore.

In the midst of being so sad and uncertain, I'm so thankful for a BFF that actually sees the need and takes the time to care even though she is incredibly busy. I hope everyone has someone they can turn to in time of need... because I'm once again reminded of how important that is... the difference it can make.