All of you lovelies who told me to come here when my Mom was driving me nuts... you're in for a "treat" because here I am. And its not a pretty visit. She has seriously gone & done it. I am just seething inside - and that's after running my mouth (just a tad) and kicking my butt for 2 1/2 hours at the gym.
Remember we all agreed that I'm going on business as usual around here - well it seems that decision will be a source of discontent. We were watching Dr. Oz & he was giving the food comparisons for different meals at Mexican, Italian, Chinese, etc. When he gave the calorie count for french toast, she went on tangent number one of the day. She literally said that she can't wait to be dead so she doesn't have to worry about food anymore! Worse yet, she said it within the hearing of my son!!! OMG, I wanted to slap her!!! And, no I would never slap her... but good grief why on earth does she think its okay to say things like that? And why would you ever say something like that where a child can hear it? She clearly has no clue the impact of hearing things like that can have on a person. This isn't the first time she's said something similar... but the most blatant. Somehow, by the grace of God, I managed to keep my cool on the outside... while SCREAMING loudly inside.
After that unpleasantness I got myself ready & headed to the gym. Walking through the door I was wishing for a punching bag, lol. My workout today consisted of 160 floors on the StairMaster, a mile on the elliptical and 10 miles on the bike. I wanted to do more... but I just didn't have the energy to keep on for some reason. I burned 1,155 calories...so not bad.
A quick stop at the grocery store and I came home to make these yummy chicken fajitas for dinner.
Guess what? She complained about the fajitas... because... they were messy!
Oh and she HATES all things chicken, unless its rolled in flour & fried. Considering the fact that my menu is chicken, chicken, chicken, shrimp, chicken, chicken and chicken until further notice... she's gonna have plenty to complain about.
Here comes tangent number two (or three if we count the chicken/fajita comments as a tangent) of the day. I was watching (ok more listening to) Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution while I was cleaning up from dinner. I made a comment about the "poor girl on there probably weighing 300 pounds or more" and her immediate response was "well then she doesn't have the right to a good life!" STOP right there because that's where I couldn't bite my tongue another second. At my objection, she insisted that she had heard people saying things like that on some talk show recently, which she may have... I don't know what she watches. The thing is & what I said that I probably shouldn't have was that she lives her life in a manner that says she believes that. Everything about the way she lives says "I'm fat so I don't have the right to a good life." Me saying that had her in tears... and I feel bad for making her cry... I just couldn't hold it in... I'd had all I could take.
Sorry for all the venting... but really you guys are all I have right now because I don't dare share this with The Husband... he'd probably really let her have it & I'm TRYING to maintain the peace around here. Thanks for "listening" to me, you're the best! I promise I have a positive, upbeat "thankful" post coming SOON!
Hope you all have an awesome weekend! :)
4 comments:
Some people are stuck in their misery....that was my grandma...I was the only one who could make her laugh. I don't know if your mom has a sense of humor or not, but sometimes it helps...
for instance.
the dead thing...
I would have said...
"Unless you catholic, then your purgatory would be a buffet."
ba dum dum.
sorry...
lol.
One christmas we were all sitting around and my mom had lit some candles...they dripped on the table.
My gramma said "I told sharon they would make a mess".
I looked at her and said...
"well, THAT'S what she gets for lighting candles." She looked at me like I was insane, then she starts laughing....She say "Your crazy".
She stopped complaining so much.
Old people can be grumpy. It's usually cause life didn't turn out like they expected. Sometimes they are hoping to save others from disappointment.
I hope you can feel better by letting off steam here.
Even if you get real mad just look at your ma and tell her you love her.
She needs to hear it I'll bet,as much as you need to say it. I think all this anger is fear that she is killing herself and you can't stop her from doing it.
I feel that way with my mom's smoking. But I try to let it go.
Big hugs to you.
Chris
Seriously Julie - I just want to come rescue you. When I read - I literally feel your stress....because I've been there. You're so torn between standing up for yourself and letting it to to keep the peace. At the end of the day - you have to be able to sleep - so during the day choose the actions that will give you that. When she's gone - you want to be able to look back and not regret how you acted or didn't act. If she leaves and you'll wish you would have said your peace - do it now. If you blow up and she leaves and all you would feel is regret - then don't do that. Do what your heart is telling you to and for God's sake yes - keep coming here. How many more days???? I will send you good vibes ALL day!
i'm sorry you're having such issues with your mom. at least YOU know what's right, and that's all that matters. keep up the hard work!
i may have missed the details of your history with yr mom, but having lost mine 16 months ago, i want to kindly suggest you look at her with a different eye, one of compassion for someone who is unhappy with herself. Mother-Daughter relationships are so charged with emotions...but today I wish I had been a lot more patient and understanding and compassionate with my mum. Best wishes for the rest of her visit.
K.
www.it-is-time.com
Post a Comment