Lost & Floundering

Holy crap! I can't believe how long its been since I posted. Seriously, I NEVER EVER meant to go so long between posts.... I don't even know what happened. Life I guess. Things got crazy finishing up the job. My Mom needed extra stuff. I reconnected with some old friends. The long neglected yard demanded time and attention. The Boy One has been having serious issues with behavior & his allergies. The list goes on...

The thing is I feel like I've gotten lost - at least the me that is focused on living a healthy lifestyle & putting those needs first. The me that needs a full life & time with friends is thriving - except I feel like crap because I know its taking time away from the gym & the food choices have been dismal at best. I 100% feel like I'm floundering - trying to figure out how to make it all work together. Its time to forge a new path... and find a new way to balance it all... I guess part of what I'm having a hard time with is that it will mean doing things that others might perceive as rude (like bringing my own meals along when I'm invited over) and I HATE the notion of appearing bitchy or "obsessed." But then on the flip side, I suppose they should understand. Sigh... it sucks trying to be a people pleaser all the time...

Two really apparent things... no matter how busy I am, I NEED to find time to blog DAILY. It so helps keep the focus where it needs to be. And, I absolutely have to track my food, especially if I'm loading up on what I'm offered other places. Just a quick example of what I'm dealing with here... dinner one night was grilled pork chops (not too bad), three starches and a minuscule amount of veggies. Oh and who among us thinks that sandwiches (on white bread) with margarine, bologna and cheese is a healthy meal? lol

The Deployment Challenge has taken a backseat to everything- which I guess means I've put my own needs on the back burner. I admit it and I'm miserable about it. It's well thought out for how things were - not so much for how things have turned out. Month two is definitely going to have some more flexibility built into it.

For the first month, I pretty much failed on all of my goals... except I managed to lose weight for the month. Despite backsliding badly this last 7-10 days, I pulled out a 1.6 pound loss for the month... far from what I was hoping for but I'm thankful for it. My StairMaster day resulted in 210 floors. My Bike Marathon day is supposed to be tomorrow, but I already know its going to have to wait until Thursday or Friday because I won't have enough time to spend that long at the gym until then. But I will do it.

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And for the better late than never part of my post... my BIG news...

I'm going to Cali for a week in mid-July... by myself! I'll be visiting my niece and relaxing. The Boy One will be here with the sitter... I am so relieved to have someone I can trust to keep him for that long. Plus, the BFF will be in town if there is a major issue while I'm gone. Its going to be soooooo nice to get away and relax for a few days! I can't wait!!!

I'm off to the gym... but I swear I will NEVER go so long without blogging again... seriously. If I forget to blog about this, someone needs to be in charge of reminding me til I do it... I had a "hair removal experience" that ranks right up there with Drazil & her powder...

Hope you've all been doing well. I'll try to catch up on some reading later. :)