I swear its true... she has arms that can reach all the way to Washington and make me feel better. Okay not really, but her words do wonders. Earlier today, my Facebook status read "is hurting to the core of her soul right now and probably will be for a good while." Now keep in mind here that Draz is one of my only FB friends that I haven't personally met... and yet she is the first one to pop up and ask what's going on. When I tell her that its been a really rough day with The Boy One and need a hug, she immediately tells me to close my eyes and feel her arms. Reading that made me cry harder than I already was... but then I felt a little better. No, I couldn't literally feel her arms... but her words and the few seconds it took her to type them helped so much.
The truth is... rough day with The Boy One is an understatement. Though my physical injuries are not as severe as the last time, I think in some ways it was actually worse. What instigated it was his extreme fear and anxiety over meeting a new therapist. And though he didn't strike me as hard as before (I was better positioned and prepared), it did go on longer and he was more aggressive in nature... literally jumping up off the couch to come after me. Eventually he slammed into his room and I could hear stuff flying. I was certain I would walk into the room to find damage to the walls and/or door... but luckily everything seems to be okay. His room, however, is a worse disaster than it was before. Clearly we never made it to meet the new therapist. I told him if we didn't go he was going to responsible for paying the missed appointment fee with his own money... which he happily did. Apparently $10 was worth it to stay home from meeting the new therapist. Beyond that, he isn't in trouble per say... I don't know how to discipline for it when it was clearly caused by his fear of meeting someone new & not tied to anything I can take away from him. We did have a long talk about what can happen if this type of behavior continues and he seemed genuinely scared by the prospects. Still, I don't know if any of it is enough to keep him from lashing out the same way again.
If there is a bright side to this trying day, it might be this... I've had no appetite, no interest in food. So scale day may be extra kind to me tomorrow. I took a peek earlier today and it was already looking favorable, so hopefully I will have good news to report soon.
And a funny story to finish... supplied by The Boy One (after his meltdown)... when asked if he wanted leftover meat and baked potato for dinner, he informed me that he isn't eating meat anymore. When I questioned him, he said its mean to eat animals like pigs. So I asked him if he is going to b3become a vegetarian and he said yes. Then a couple minutes later he asked for a cheeseburger, lol. When I reminded him that hamburger comes from cows, he was like "that's okay, just no pigs for me." Now the question is when do I burst his bubble? He LOVES bacon!
I swear I'm writing you all a happy post tomorrow! :)
It looks like a foot. It tastes like a foot.
1 month ago
6 comments:
xo xo
take care of you.
Carla
I drop in from time to time to see how you are doing and I'm glad this post finished off with a funny story - I know life can get hard sometimes.
I have to ask though, does your husband know about this blog? I'm taking it that he doesn't as you are quite open about him these days and I would worry about his reaction if he read your posts... I wouldn't want you to suffer for being so strong and honest. xoxo
Hang in there - and if you need a local hug...or just someone to talk to...drop me a line
I appreciate your honesty in your writing. I am sorry you are going through a rough time with your son. I dont know his story but I can tell you I go through the same thing with my son.
Sending you some additional hugs.
I am laughing about the cheeseburger comment.
Long arms and a big hug coming to you in Chicago. My heart is with you - you are never alone....
You are such a strong woman...i just hate to see all this happen to you. Know we are all here for you, be it with a word, a virtual hug or friendship!!
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