Draz Has LONG Arms...

I swear its true... she has arms that can reach all the way to Washington and make me feel better. Okay not really, but her words do wonders. Earlier today, my Facebook status read "is hurting to the core of her soul right now and probably will be for a good while." Now keep in mind here that Draz is one of my only FB friends that I haven't personally met... and yet she is the first one to pop up and ask what's going on. When I tell her that its been a really rough day with The Boy One and need a hug, she immediately tells me to close my eyes and feel her arms. Reading that made me cry harder than I already was... but then I felt a little better. No, I couldn't literally feel her arms... but her words and the few seconds it took her to type them helped so much.



The truth is... rough day with The Boy One is an understatement. Though my physical injuries are not as severe as the last time, I think in some ways it was actually worse. What instigated it was his extreme fear and anxiety over meeting a new therapist. And though he didn't strike me as hard as before (I was better positioned and prepared), it did go on longer and he was more aggressive in nature... literally jumping up off the couch to come after me. Eventually he slammed into his room and I could hear stuff flying. I was certain I would walk into the room to find damage to the walls and/or door... but luckily everything seems to be okay. His room, however, is a worse disaster than it was before. Clearly we never made it to meet the new therapist. I told him if we didn't go he was going to responsible for paying the missed appointment fee with his own money... which he happily did. Apparently $10 was worth it to stay home from meeting the new therapist. Beyond that, he isn't in trouble per say... I don't know how to discipline for it when it was clearly caused by his fear of meeting someone new & not tied to anything I can take away from him. We did have a long talk about what can happen if this type of behavior continues and he seemed genuinely scared by the prospects. Still, I don't know if any of it is enough to keep him from lashing out the same way again.

If there is a bright side to this trying day, it might be this... I've had no appetite, no interest in food. So scale day may be extra kind to me tomorrow. I took a peek earlier today and it was already looking favorable, so hopefully I will have good news to report soon.

And a funny story to finish... supplied by The Boy One (after his meltdown)... when asked if he wanted leftover meat and baked potato for dinner, he informed me that he isn't eating meat anymore. When I questioned him, he said its mean to eat animals like pigs. So I asked him if he is going to b3become a vegetarian and he said yes. Then a couple minutes later he asked for a cheeseburger, lol. When I reminded him that hamburger comes from cows, he was like "that's okay, just no pigs for me." Now the question is when do I burst his bubble? He LOVES bacon!

I swear I'm writing you all a happy post tomorrow! :)

Summer Craziness!

Here I am again - looking at how many days its been since I last posted - thinking how could it really have been so long?!?! August has been a crazy month, well the whole summer really, but this month in particular. In light of previous posts about my home situation and several long discussions with trusted friends I decided that I needed to start taking care of some long over due things... like trips to the doctor and dentist while I have good coverage... which has opened up all sorts of new heartache. Like I have any more energy to deal with stress or heartache... seriously its amazing I'm not eating whole pizzas and Costco packs of chocolate.

The routine - lets get a checkup - appointment at the doctor turned into two referrals to specialists, extensive blood work and the decision to go off the pill and get Mirena instead. Specialist #1 is to get spot removed off my eyelid - but guess what - since it can't be done on base the insurance won't cover it. Specialist #2 is to look at some suspicious spots on my skin. Yes, I know I'm whiter than the paper in my printer... so yeah I'm a little concerned about this. **** TMI ALERT **** Mirena is a good thing - I mean no remembering to take a pill and I don't feel sick from taking the pill - TOM came to visit within a couple days after I got it and stopped taking the pills... and has yet to leave - two weeks later. UGH!!!

The dentist was/is a nightmare. Quick back story: My Mom never took care of my oral health or took me to a dentist growing up and as a result I have extensive problems with my teeth. During my adult life we have spent thousands trying to correct the damage... all to no avail apparently. The dentist did his routine exam and recommended removing all of the upper teeth and almost all of the lower ones as well. Its one of those things where I knew the day was coming, but hearing it from him brought back all of the anger and hurt I have spent my whole life feeling toward my Mom over this. When the physical pain of it gets bad, the anger always resurfaces. There was NO excuse for not taking me to a dentist or at least making sure I had a toothbrush and toothpaste. So now... our out of pocket expense to do what the dentist says I need done is a little over $6,200!!! Besides the anger and hurt with my Mom over this... it makes me feel trapped in a situation I don't want to be in. The only bright side at all is I talked to him about it and he said to do whatever it takes to get the money to pay for it... even selling some of his precious sports card collection (but then I feel guilty about that idea with everything else going on in my mind).

The Husband Update... in his words... "I made it, I finally made it!" That's the call I got from him about two weeks ago when he called to tell me he made Chief. Its a big accomplishment and regardless of everything else, I'm still proud of him. He's worked hard for it and because of choices he made for the sake of the family a lot of people thought he would never make it. Deployment is half over... I have mixed feelings about that... as I'm sure you can imagine if you've read my previous posts.

In healthy living news... I've managed to get my butt out the door and be active almost every day since I last posted. The weather has been pretty amazing and having the beach a five minute walk from the house helps tremendously. We did the walk on ferry ride across the water and walked all over the little town there - including up and down this steep staircase a few times. While The Boy One was staying with Grandma I drove up toward the mountains a did a couple of short hikes - both in very safe, well travelled places. We've been beach & fort exploring all over the island. I'm so thankful that there are so many good active outings close to home - its really a fantastic place to live during the summer.

Food has been kind of hit or miss the last few weeks. At home, I've been eating healthy enough for the most part... other than my current ice cream fetish, lol. The problem is too much restaurant food... too much good restaurant food. With being a little careful about my menu choices, only eating foods that I truly enjoy the taste of, skipping appetizers and desserts, and choosing water I think even the restaurant splurges haven't done that much damage.

Since I got home from my trip to Cali, I've lost 5 lbs... so I'm not going to complain. That said, I am looking forward to school starting so I can get back to a better routine - with less restaurant food and MORE gym time... its scary (in a good way) how much I miss that place.

Time for a little blog speed reading... I've missed so much in this summer craziness... hope everyone is doing well! :)

Adios to the 200s... AGAIN! & Vacation Report At Last

Again... and for the absolute LAST time... I have said farewell to a number on the scale that starts with 2. I swear it will NEVER, EVER happen again! When I hopped on the scale this morning and it read 198.8 I could have done a happy dance... it was a like a huge sigh of relief to see that I am recovering fairly quickly from my vacation gain.

Jeans in 15 has now become jeans in 12.8.

And back to the vacation.. long overdue... but I want to share my adventure with you. It was seriously one of the most active vacations I've ever been on... which I guess is why I was a little surprised by the amount I gained (even though I ate like a pig at way too many good restaurants). Sorry I don't have pictures to add at the moment, they are stuck on a different computer. :(

Day one of my vacation, I went to preschool, lol. My niece is a preschool teacher and she had one more day of work before her vacation started. We took the kids to a park to play, it was about a six block walk each direction. Then on her lunch hour we walked about four blocks each way to get food. Oh and that night after she was off work we went to REI and I got some awesome hiking boots on clearance for a great deal (I LOVE me a bargain!).

Day two was antique stores, bead store & laundry... nothing too exciting.

Day three we took the ferry from Oakland to Fisherman's Wharf. We walked all over, including a several block trek to find a Starbucks (apparently its the only coffee she finds to be worth drinking). That would also be the day we ate at both Bubba Gump and the Hard Rock Cafe.... and I don't regret a single food choice I made that day.

Day four we visited Point Reyes Lighthouse out on the California coast. It was breathtakingly beautiful & freezing cold. The winds were intense and even though we had bundled for winter, it was still chilly. The walk from the parking area to the lighthouse area is something near a mile I think. But its the trek from there to the lighthouse that makes this an intense active experience, they even have a sign posted warning people how strenuous it is. The stairs that lead to the lighthouse are equal to a 30-story building! Going down was naturally easier than coming up. Before we started back up, I joked that we were about to put all my stairmaster time to the test. Turns out that all the effort on the stairmaster really has paid off... I was able to easily do the 30 stories back up & actually sprinted most of the way. When I got to the top I was barely even breathing hard & didn't break a sweat!!!! Seriously a year ago even, that would have been a VERY different story! I was pretty proud of myself and even considered going back to the bottom to do it a second time. Truthfully the only that stopped me was the wind blowing 40mph all around me. If you ever get the chance to visit, do it! Its so worth it, both from the exercise standpoint and the sheer beauty of the place.

Day five was another AWESOME day! We started out by meeting my brother and sister in law for lunch. I hadn't seen my brother for a couple years, thought I wasn't going to see him this trip, so this was a great surprise for me. After lunch, we set out for the Golden Gate Bridge. We parked and took some pictures from the park that overlooks the bridge. Let's just say I wasn't thinking clearly, 40mph winds up there and I was in shorts and a little tank top. By the time I got back to the car I couldn't feel my fingers. Next, we walked across both spans of the bridge to the San Fransisco side and back.... round trip is right around four miles. For the walk I was smart enough to grab a jacket, but my legs were like giant icicles by the time we got back to the car. Walking across the bridge was amazing... it totally ranks right up there with top moments in my life. There was just something about experiencing such a well-known historic landmark in that way that is hard to put into words.

By day six, I was admittedly a bit on the sore side after two really active days in a row. But nevertheless, we went to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. It was a lot of fun. We saw the dolphin show and whale show. The dolphins drenched me, so I spent the rest of the day drying out... not so fun. This was another one of those little victories... being able to truly experience and enjoy the park with NO worries about fitting on the rides. Its amazing how something so simple can lead to such feelings of freedom and inner-peace.

So there it is... the run down on the most active vacation of my life. All in all it was a great trip and I have to say in addition to being the most active... it was also the most fulfilling vacation I've ever been on.

Next stop on my travels.... CHICAGO!!! I can't wait...