Its All Over...

Kids group at Church that is... and only til the Fall... but for this year its over. Wednesday night was the awards for the year... which got me to thinking about last year's awards night.

Throughout the year, I put in my weekly appearance and did my stuff with the kids... but there were a lot of parents and other people that I didn't really see on a weekly basis. So awards night rolled around and I got up on stage to help hand out awards like I do most every year. The most amazing thing happened afterwards... person after person came up to me and commented on how good I looked and/or asked how much weight I'd lost! It was the first time I was really aware that the change was noticeable. I went home that night feeling a little like the "belle of the ball." It was such an amazing feeling to have so many people recognize the change!

Initially, I believed that night gave me great motivation to continue toward my goal. After spending the last year fairly stagnant... flirting with the same five pound range and still 40-50 pounds from goal... I wonder if maybe what that night really gave me was a false sense of achievement. Maybe its just total coincidence that I've been more or less maintaining since that night... but the timing is ironic to say the least.

I knew this year wouldn't provide that kind of experience because - well - there hasn't been much change in the last 12 months. But for the first time in the 14 years I've been doing kids group, I had almost ZERO anxiousness over walking up to the stage! For the first time in several years, I even - willingly - took the microphone and spoke for a brief moment.

A few weeks ago, one of the girls was telling me that I needed a hair cut - duh, my last hair cut was in November 2008 - so I obliged her (even took her advice on the cut) and made a quick trip to a new salon in town yesterday, resulting in this....

Can I just say that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it when I get my hair flat ironed!!! Its hard to explain, but it gives me such a feeling of confidence and sleekness... almost like when you put on a pair of jeans that makes you look 10 pounds lighter. When I look in the mirror - with my hair straight - I feel like a totally different person.

As expected, I got tons of compliments on my hair... not so much otherwise... which is fine (its what I was anticipating)... but ya know what... it truly gives me a new sense of motivation... because I want that "belle of the ball" feeling again!

NSVs & The Next Challenge

Here I am! Thought I'd better hurry up and post before someone sent out a search party, lol. A few people have emailed me to see if I'm okay because I haven't posted... and yes, I am okay... just super busy. New job, the boy one's birthday, last minute details before The Husband leaves on deployment, end of the year events for kids group... I think I need an IV drip of caffeine to get through the next couple weeks. :-)

We took the boy one here for his birthday...

The Great Wolf Lodge. It was lots of fun for all of us and a major NSV for me. First, I have to share that thanks to a fellow blogger I was sporting an awesome new swimsuit... in a size MEDIUM!!!! Holy crapola I don't know when the last time I wore a medium swimsuit was... or if I ever did to be honest. Besides the suit, I actually felt comfortable going down all of the slides & there was no concern about exceeding the weight limits when I went on a tube with The Husband... which was an awesome feeling!

A quick note about a couple of other recent NSVs... these probably would've been posts of their own if I wasn't soooo dang busy the last couple weeks.

When I was at the bank getting change for the yard sale I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a couple years. She told me that she'd seen me at the festival in town a few weeks ago. I asked why she hadn't said hello & her response was "I wasn't sure it was you, you look amazing!" Crazy I tell ya... I don't feel like I look that much different that a friend wouldn't be sure if it was me or not.

Then the very next day, at the yard sale, my new friend Lisa (I met her at the job training) and I were discussing my son. I commented that he was going to be twelve in a few days. She looked at me all surprised and said "Wait, how old are you? You don't look old enough to have a kid that age." When I told her I was 33, she said that she would have guessed I was closer to 25!!!

These little victories all mean so much right now when I'm struggling to eat well & haven't seen the inside of the gym in days... too many days.

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Now for the next challenge...

I don't know if I've really mentioned this on my blog, but I'm going to the BOOBS gathering in Chicago in September. Someone had to keep Drazil from being the only band-less one there, lol.

I googled the distance between Seattle & Chicago, depending on the source I got numbers anywhere from 1727-2049 miles. Most sites said it was 1727-1749 miles, so I'm going to go with 1750 miles for this challenge. What is the challenge?

To move my tush (and the rest of me) 1750 miles between now & the Chicago trip! Miles will be combined for all of the cardio equipment at the gym... plus if I'm out walking, hiking or beach walking I'll be sure to have my pedometer so I can count that too. Yes, its a long term challenge... so naturally I will have short term things going on along the way too.

As for May goals, I mentioned in my last post that my only goal for the month was to make healthy choices in restaurants this month. The reason for this is just how crazy things are right now and I don't feel like I can handle the stress of overwhelming myself with a laundry list of goals/rewards til The Husband is on his way. One thing that is always true of the cycle leading up to deployment is that he wants to eat at all of the restaurants he will miss when he's away... so I KNOW that restaurants are going to be one of the biggest challenges this month.

On another note, my first real paycheck since I was pregnant with the boy one (yes the one who just turned 12) went into my bank account tonight... pondering what I should do with the part of it I've designated for "play." I have some ideas... but curiosity makes me ask...

What would you do with it???

Day One is Over

Thank you for all of the supportive comments about my Mom's visit. You guys are the best!

Day one is in the books & I survived. She had one minor meltdown when I mentioned the nutritional content of the ice cream cones from Dairy Queen (yes we had these today, it was my son's treat day after his therapy so planned in my week)... something about how the only thing you can eat - that's good for you - is raw fruits & vegetables... I sort of tuned her out. We're just going about our normal routine, not making a big deal out of things & not making concessions or compromising the way we live... which I think irritates her some. Despite her sitting with her Doritos & scads of sugar free chocolate, I did a really good job staying on track with my food for the day. 1426 calories total... including the ice cream!

The gym and I had two meetings today... sometimes I even surprise myself, lol. Round one lasted for about 90 minutes. I did 3.6 miles on the treadmill, 35 floors on the stairmaster & 20 sets on the circuit machines. My pace was slow on the treadmill - oh how I detest that machine! - and the only reason I managed to stay on it for a whole hour was that one of my friends was in the audience on The Price is Right, so I was trying to spot him. Whatever works. Round two was a solid hour - 115 floors on the stairmaster & 3.5 miles on the bike. I burned 975 calories in round one & 677 calories in round two - 1652 for the day! Splitting it into two sessions like that really cuts down on the fatigue, wish I could do it that way more often. Still, I'm starting to feel anxious about the gym challenge (more on that after I've had some sleep lol).

Just for fun... while we were doing our late Egg Hunt at kids group last night, we remembered a picture that was taken of me last year and attempted to recreate it for comparison. 2009 on the left & this year on the right.

What do ya think? Is there a noticeable difference?

Here She Comes...

My Mother -remember her, the third member of the conspiracy? - is coming to stay with us for a week. I'm bringing her home with me after kids group tonight. After weeks of constant complaints about us not spending enough time with her, she agreed to come here to visit. Now I know this won't stop her complaints because she has this need for us to visit her at her house... but its the best I can do right now.

These visits cause me a huge heap of STRESS! She expects to be catered to when she is here & will go hungry for hours rather than pour herself a bowl of cereal. And if I'm puttering around the house doing housework or whatever she gets upset because she can't "visit" with me. Can you imagine how she's going to react when I disappear for three (or more ) hours to hit the gym?
Those things are annoying, but the biggest stress comes from getting a true picture of her poor health. When she is at our house she does one of two things - sits in a chair trying to look at magazines (which she can barely do with her low vision) or sleeps. She has sleep apnea and is supposed to sleep with one of those breathing machines - she refuses to use it. Its obvious when you spend any real time with her that she has NO energy and is so physically weak that even walking a block is too much for her. Its sad and frustrating for me because I know she could be doing things to take better care of herself but - as I've talked about before - she doesn't think she's worth the effort.... which is where another chunk of the stress heap comes in...

Its like a healthy lifestyle pushes all of her buttons & she has a temper tantrum (for lack of a better term) - sometimes mini & sometimes full blown. I've taken her to the store & literally had her in tears for suggesting that chicken breasts might be a better option than ground beef. It used to be that I would do an "extra good job" of setting an example when she was here... which just lead to meltdown after meltdown. So lately I've been pretty laid back with my routine when she has stayed with us... BUT I CANNOT DO THAT THIS TIME... not for a whole week & not in the middle of this gym challenge. I just can't. So I can imagine the meltdowns are coming... and I don't feel like I can deal with that right now either... better to deal with that than another gain on the scale though.

The Husband and I were actually discussing this for quite awhile this morning and - hold the applause here lol - we agreed that the house will be business as usual for the duration of her visit. He of course was full things he'll say to her if she starts butting in - I so wonder what would happen if he ever actually said any of the things he comes up with. Anyway, that means my typical gym routine (on overdrive for the challenge), the healthiest meals possible (except for Saturday night dinner might be a splurge) and no unnecessary trips to stores. This is just the way it has to be... I cannot get derailed... especially after last week.

Is it bad that The Husband and I are taking bets on how long it will take her to come up with a reason to need to go to a store? Plus, we're taking bets on what she'll actually buy at the store if she gets in the door of one. I say Nacho Cheese Doritos. He says frozen pizza. I would agree on the pizza, but I'm betting she'll be suggesting we order it from somewhere before the week is over.

That's what happening here... what's going on in your world this week?

An Off Day & Yummy Treats

Day three of Around the World & guess what I did!?! I took the day off!!! Why would I do such a thing this early in? Well.... to be honest I just didn't feel like going. My energy level was super low the whole day & the thought of putting on gym clothes this morning had me literally in tears (pathetic huh). Also, I'm feeling pretty comfortable with my ability to hit the daily numbers I need in order to finish the whole challenge. Or at least I was...

Have I mentioned before that The Husband is leaving on deployment soon? Well, if I haven't... he is and the "vacation" time he gets before leaving is coming up soon - March 25th-April 4th. This is the only time we'll have to go visit his family on the other side of the state before he leaves. There is no way I can deny him that opportunity because of some "gym thing." Not that we'll be gone the entire time he has off... but still it will be a big chunk of time that I have to figure out how to compensate for.

Can I stop right here and ask you all a question? My blog, why yes I can! :)

Just out of curiosity... how many of you are expected to take your Mom with you whenever you go to visit your inlaws?

Well, maybe not "just out of curiosity." See my Mom thinks that she should come with us every time we go to visit The Husband's family & gets HUGELY offended if we don't invite her. Since she has no other family nearby, I don't mind at all if its a holiday or for a birthday... but for all the time, every visit, its just too much. It stresses everyone else out & I'm totally restricted in what I can say or do during the visit (unless I want there to be a totally embarrassing blowup in front of his family). Its to the point where we are trying to avoid her finding out about the upcoming visit... ok end vent. :)


Food was okay today... not the greatest. I did pack dinner to eat at kids group... a tasty salad with spinach, romaine, cauliflower, broccoli, grape tomatoes, sprouts, carrots, low fat mozzarella, turkey pepperoni, sunflower seeds & balsamic dressing. I was taking the last bite when I realized I didn't take a pic of it. :( Much better choice than what I typically did for kids group nights - you name the drive-thru & I probably visited it on any given Wednesday night.

We did have some yummy treats there - the standard Hershey's kisses & some super yummy Irish Coffee Cream Fudge. No clue how many calories were in the fudge, but I only had two of the kisses... so hopefully it balanced out semi-okay. I'm not a huge Irish Cream fan, but this fudge was AMAZING! Its a very good thing that it was only there in limited quantities... its the kind of stuff I could "accidentally" eat way too much of & not even realize.

What kind of St. Patricks Day treats did you have?



Hope you are all doing well this week... I soooooo need to take some time to catch up on my blog reading.

Safeway Loves Me, The Conspiracy & Convenience Food

They really do! Look at that beautiful grocery ad for the week! Chicken breasts are on sale & we are literally down to our last three pieces of chicken in the freezer... so its perfect timing. Honestly chicken is almost always on sale at one store another so that's not such a BIG deal. But, look right next to the chicken & see BLUEBERRIES. They are buy one get one free!!!!!! I am soooooo happy about this. Blueberries are my absolute favorite fruit, but they are just too expensive for me to buy fresh during the winter unless they are on sale. Needless to say, I haven't had any in a LONG time. Frozen ones just don't do it for me... so I wait patiently for the fresh and now it appears my wait is over! Yay!



This is what I took along to kids group for my dinner last night...





And, its what I was thinking of as my Mom was munching away on her Doritos. I packed it in one of those Fit & Fresh bowls I picked up at Ross a couple weeks ago. It worked out perfectly, other than the included spoon that kept wanting to fold, lol. Breakfast for Dinner... but until I get to the grocery store again its all about getting creative in this house.

Update on the alliance/conspiracy: To be crystal clear, I have NO (well almost no) interest in what my Mom and The Husband choose to eat as long as they don't push it on me. If they want to gorge themselves on cheeseburgers & pizza more power to em. Selfish perhaps, but my main concern is making sure I'm putting mostly healthy things in my body... cuz lets be real here, I still LOVE all of those indulgent foods... but I CHOOSE to limit them. And, naturally I want to help my son learn to eat a healthy diet... I'm pretty lucky there, as he is usually happier with an apple than candy.

The best way to manage the conspiracy: To go back to the basics of what I did to lose the first 45 pounds. Novel idea right? Do what was working and put it on repeat! That means healthy foods only in the house, unless I plan for an indulgence. Restaurants limited to 1-2 times a week. Being firm about my gym time & dietary needs. And perhaps most importantly, saying a big fat NOOOOOOOO!!!!! when the time calls for it.


I took the day off from the gym... and did this with the time...






I prepared some "convenience" food... which was desperately needed. Lettuce & celery chopped... waiting eagerly to be mixed with other ingredients for tasty salads. Measured Bare Naked Fit granola, almonds and chicken & beef jerky (high in sodium... but its a weakness that I allow for once in awhile). All of the bags are labeled with the amount, calorie & fat content...so I'm reminded of EXACTLY what I'm putting in my body when I reach for a bag. Taking the couple extra minutes to do that helps immensely as I go through the week. Often, I will mix and match with the bags to get the calories I'm allotting myself for a snack; so it makes it really easy to adapt to whatever I'm craving at any given time.

Random question: What kitchen appliance do you find the most helpful in your healthy lifestyle?

Caught in the Act!!!

Yep, that's me... rifling through the basket of chocolate at kids group last night. I was anxiously searching for a Kit Kat. The closet thing I found was this...

It is a Kit Kat, technically, but white chocolate just doesn't cut it in my book. So I "settled" for nine Hershey's kisses. I made them last the entire two hours I was there by sucking each one slowly and really enjoying the flavor & texture in my mouth. And since I had left some wiggle room in my meal plan, knowing there would be chocolate there, no guilt for me. :-)

I stayed pretty close to my planned meals yesterday. I did eat one peanut butter creme Girl Scout cookie between breakfast & lunch. For snacks, I ended up skipping the grapefruit; but ate an extra string cheese.

The husband was being a computer hog this morning so I never got my meal plan for today posted. Breakfast was steel cut oats with strawberries, sliced almonds & milk. Regretfully, I ended up at Jack in the Box for a late lunch. I went in with the intention of having the Chicken Fajita Pita & water. But those darn curly fries sucked me into their curliness & forced me to ask for them; I swear they did! On the bright side, I talked myself out of having the sugary root beer along with it. So a little extra time in the gym tonight & a light dinner should compensate.

Does anyone else ever feel like living a healthy lifestyle is a full-time job?