Kids & Food

It seems there has been a flurry of chatter in blogland about kids & diet talk, etc. This is a post I've been working on all week - I swear something must be in the air - and thinking about much longer.



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A few weeks ago, I was at dinner with a friend, his two daughters and The Boy One. The oldest girl is the same age as The Boy One (12) & is very nearly my size. So, at dinner she ordered this HUGE platter meal - literally enough food to feed me for an entire day - and proceeded to eat the entire thing! Upon completion of the meal (er, feast), she looks at The Boy One and says, "Look how much food I just ate!!!" There was such a look of satisfaction on her face & glee in her voice. Her joy over this "feat" made me sick to my stomach. It was all I could do to bite my tongue. I felt just sad for her... sad that she thinks eating like that is something to be proud of... sad that her father apparently knows very little about nutrition and what it means to eat healthfully.



Since that day, I have paid careful attention when dining out. The occurrence with her really opened my eyes... but it is far from isolated. It seems nearly every time I dine out, I see/hear children being praised for the amount of food they eat and/or chastised if they dare to leave food on their plate. In one instance, I actually heard a mother tell her child, "I'm paying for that meal and we are not leaving here til you eat every bite." And omg, a trip to the buffet (where I go only for sushi) about had me wanting to cry for the children being allowed to go back for three and four plates of food.



Here in blogland, I have read multiple accounts of people who do things like preparing two meals each night - one healthy meal for themselves and then the "usual" stuff for their kids/spouses, purchase school lunches for their children while packing a healthy lunch for themselves, etc.



All of this has gotten me to thinking A LOT about kids & food. While I would NEVER encourage my child or any other to "diet," I do think we have a responsibility to teach children the importance of eating healthy, nutritious foods.

While I understand the temptation to feed kids a different set of food from what we eat when we are trying to lose weight, I have to be honest and say its not something I agree with doing.

How many of us site how important our children are & wanting to be more actively involved with them as a reason for wanting to lose weight/get healthy? If that is true, why would we want to continue feeding our children foods that set them up to have the same struggles with food that we do? Why would we want to continue feeding our children foods that will put them at an increased risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, maybe even cancer? If we recognize these foods are not healthy for us to be eating, why on earth would we feel comfortable feeding these foods to our children?

How many of use grew up in homes with an overweight parent (or two) and learned the eating/activity habits that lead us to becoming overweight adults? Its no secret kids learn by example and (especially the little ones) want to mimic the adults they look up to in life. If we are setting a good example, by eating healthy foods, why not take it one step further and feed the whole family the same healthy foods?

In our home, we all eat the same foods. That's not to say we don't have treats... but they are treats we ALL indulge in. One day a week, The Boy One & I have ice cream after his therapy session. On weekdays, we all eat a healthy breakfast - for The Boy One its a Cheerios type cereal with low fat yogurt. Then on weekends, he is allowed his choice of sugary cereals, in a reasonable portion. On our "payday" dinners, we all eat whatever looks appealing on the menu and I don't worry about what I'm eating because I know its just one meal. While things like cookies & chips don't typically come in the house, we all enjoy them as an occasional part of life... not the daily norm. The Boy One knows candy is something we have once in a awhile - because it tastes good - but that it is not "real food" to eat on a regular basis. The Boy One (and The Husband when he's here) happily eat the healthy recipes I prepare... they are tasty & honestly I don't think they even realize they are eating "healthy food." For me, this is part of the "doing it in a way I can sustain for the rest of my life" approach. It only makes sense to teach him to eat, now, in a way that he can eat for his whole life to maintain his health & wellness.

This is the approach I have taken with him since he was small & it works for us. A few years ago, he had a beloved uncle pass away after battling cancer & congestive heart failure. In the process of explaining the illness to him... we told The Boy One gently, but honestly, that part of what contributed to his uncle becoming ill was his unhealthy diet, drinking alcohol excessively, and smoking. That put the first seed in his head that he needed to take care of himself. Today, he watches his Grandma's health deteriorate and when he asks why she is sick... I continue to be honest with him. He knows that while people are sometimes predisposed to illnesses, that there are ways you can take care of yourself to help stay healthy. And yes, despite his "differences" he really does know and understand these concepts. Am I burdening him in some way by being so open and honest about these things with him? I hope not. I believe with my whole heart it is important to be honest with him & not beat around the bush when it comes to matters of illness & what can be done to minimize the risks.

For me, it is critically important to help our children learn to eat in a healthy manner, NOW when they are young, so that it becomes a life long habit... not something they struggle to learn as they reach adulthood. Because of that I am going to focus most of my healthy recipe tests on meals & snacks that are kid friendly. I'm guessing this will involve some recipe "makeovers" and some brand new creations. We will let The Boy One be the "kid taste tester" and I will share our findings.

For those of you that take this approach or a similar one, what are some of your kids' favorite "healthy" meals?

And for those of you who feed your kids a different "diet" from yourself, I'm genuinely curious as to why you do this.

Please know I'm not trying to attack anyone for the way they choose to feed their children. I am merely burdened with fear over what America - at large - is doing to our children (often without even realizing it). It makes me sad to see a generation of children growing up on Happy Meals & cardboard pizza... especially when there are so many ways to make kid-friendly healthy meals.

I keep coming back to this one thought...

If we love ourselves enough to fuel our bodies with nutrious foods on a regular basis... shouldn't we love our children enough to do that and more?

The Weekend Experience

After all of the struggles over the past few weeks, I am relieved to report that I had a very successful holiday weekend! I have to start with my BIG NSV because I am so excited about it!!!

For the first time in 13 years, I got to go on my very favorite carnival ride... The Ring of Fire.

Three or four summers ago, I remember looking at it longingly - knowing there was no way I could squeeze my wide hips in there with another person (and they require two riders). When I was in high school, it was a tight fit for me and my then BFF... so there was NO chance that I'd fit after packing on an extra 60 pounds from my high school weight.

When the carnival was here in the spring this year, I knew I was small enough to fit once again... but there was no freakin Ring of Fire. Driving to town Thursday night, I saw it sitting there in all its glory and was giddy with excitement. The next task was finding a victim to accompany me... enter my friend Melissa... who just happened to come stay the weekend. We got to the carnival and the darn thing was closed for some unknown reason! I was so bummed... I could have cried. We let the kids do their thing and toward the end of the evening it was reopened and I got to ride... FINALLY! Not only did I fit... I fit with room to spare!!!!! It was amazing!!!!

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Saturday was a busy day. My friend, Melissa, was here with her oldest son and three year old niece. We took the kids to one of the local parks/forts and had a blast walking all over. I couldn't find my pedometer (a sure sign that I've been away from my normal routine for way too long), but I think we probably walked about three miles all together. Plus, every time we came to a staircase, I went up and down them a couple times each while waiting on the kids. The kids were pretty worn out by the end of the day... burned some extra calories carrying the three year old around at various points. It was also pretty cool, we happened to run into an old friend and his kids there... I used to babysit them when they were little, but hadn't seen them in years. We packed along sack lunches for the day... mine was filled with a whole wheat bagel thin spread with laughing cow cheese, a pine nut mix with dried cranberries, and a 100 calorie pack of cookies... satisfying and a perfect amount for a busy, on-the-go afternoon. Plus, I was pleased with myself for not caving in to the temptation of fast food...

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Food was a better experience in general this weekend... despite the "crap food friends," lol. I ended up doing a lot of cooking... and for the most part there was no complaining. Food items included homemade chicken taquitos (about 225 calories for two of them) and a breakfast scramble with turkey kielbasa, onion, garlic and tomato. Seriously, I don't think they even realized they were eating healthy foods. Thank God for Hungry Girl recipes. :)

At my Mom's yesterday, we managed to have a pretty healthy 4th of July meal too. We had grilled kabobs, fruit salad with a yogurt dressing and corn bread. The corn bread was my splurge and it was soooooo yummy... it didn't even need butter.

They do the community fireworks right by her house, so we got to watch from her front yard... super nice to be able to avoid the crowds. The last two years I have been gone on the 4th, so it was lots of fun to watch The Boy One watching the fireworks. He used to be scared to death of them, but this year he was jumping up and down excited and hollering "BRAVO" at the top of his lungs between each burst.

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Monday has proven to be a most relaxing day. I finally finished planting my flowers for the back patio and the veggies are all in pots too. In the afternoon, I was in the car, on the way to the gym, and the weather was soooooo nice I couldn't stand the thought of being cooped up indoors. So... I went to one of the beaches in town and walked. It was a pretty short walk - about a mile - because I was sans-sunscreen... but I walked down on the rocky beach which is a way more intense workout for the legs than the boardwalk portion. It felt good to get out there. If the weatherman is right, we are headed for a stretch of awesome weather... which makes me itch for all the different beaches and trails... I can't wait! I'll just have to dash into the gym for some weight training. I just installed RunKeeper on my NEW phone, so that will be fun to use too!

Drazil says I must report on my trip to Victoria Secret... among other things... so I shall try to oblige her in my next post. Also, I know I have some awards that I've been terribly remiss in responding too... thank you so much for them... they mean more than you know...

Keeping my fingers crossed for a happy scale day...

22 Years Ago, Ashley & Being Worth It

On this day 22 years ago, my Dad passed away. I remember the events like it was yesterday... but its taken until the last few months for me to really begin processing all of the effects that one life-changing event has had on the entire rest of my life.

My Dad passed away in the evening (ironically in the maternity ward because the hospital was so full) & that morning one of the ladies from our Church gave birth to a healthy baby girl in the very next room. I've come to realize that wasn't the only birth that day... subconsciously or not, my mind gave birth to the idea that I wasn't worth it on that day... that is the day my Mom quit.

What do I mean? I mean this is when she stopped being the Mom I'd always had. She stopped preparing healthy meals; food in the house was mostly boxed/prepared stuff & we ate out A LOT. She stopped doing things like taking me to the dentist. She became so afraid of something happening to me that I had to stay close at all times. She discouraged me from participating in school sports or doing "active" things out of fear I would become injured. She pretty much stopped being physically active, so there went my good example for that (and the opportunities). Emotionally, it was extremely difficult to turn to her for support because of things that happened during my Dad's illness. Yes, she was grieving & I'm sure doing what she considered to be the best she could. But the damage done in her state of grief is long lasting.

Watching The Biggest Loser last week, I could so relate to Ashley that I just wanted to cry for her. For all of the things that my Mom didn't do, there was one constant. It became my "job" to be like her best friend. I always had to be there. That continued in the early parts of my marriage. If The Husband wasn't at work, she expected us to be at her house. Even now, its something we argue over; she thinks we should be there way more often than is really doable with our schedule & gets offended if I say I can't come because I have to get in my gym time or do meal prep. I cried for myself when Jillian took Ashley to talk with her Mom... because my Mom would NEVER be open to that type of conversation... which makes me feel like I'm always going to have these unresolved feelings.

And how does that relate to me not being worth it as far as my health is concerned? The biggest thing was the change in eating habits. When my Dad was alive, my Mom cooked healthy meals because he struggled with high blood pressure & she has diabetes. After he passed away, the shift was dramatic. Yes, she still avoided sugar... but everything else was back on the table. Once that became the norm, I had little chance of learning what a healthy diet really was. And I've realized recently that that is the very beginning of me feeling like I wasn't worth it. It was worth her time & effort to make real meals when my Dad was there... but when it was just me, it was no longer worth her time & effort to do it. There are other reasons, but I know without doubt this is the first moment where I felt like I WASN'T WORTH IT.

As a teenager, I used to always write a letter to my Dad on this day... and one common theme was always hoping he would be proud of me and the person I was becoming. I haven't written a letter to him in years now... but I still think about it & what I might be able to do in my life that would make him proud.

This is it... for this year and beyond... Whatever is happening in my world, no matter how crazy my life is, regardless of the challenges military life presents, no matter what... I will live a life that says to myself I AM WORTH IT! That I am worth the effort to take care of myself & live a healthy lifestyle. And more importantly than that, I will do whatever it takes to teach my son that he is WORTH IT too!

What do you think the best ways are to show our children that they are worth it?