A Gift, Food Confessional & Coming Changes

Or perhaps its more of a realization... the ending date of the Challenge is the 26th - which is Monday. Don't even ask why I thought it was Sunday. Seriously, I think all of my brain cells have exited my body disguised as sweat. Anyway - its an extra day - and it feels like a HUGE gift right now!

Quick update on the numbers

What I did today: 7.3 miles on the treadmill

What I have left (approximately): 12.5 mi treadmill, 450 floors stairmaster & 150 free weight sets

Totally doable!!!

I will be so excited when the last blank is filled in on my "passport!" My first stop after I leave the gym that day will be the store that has my Coach handbag displayed. They only have one left, I swear if I get there & its gone I may sit down (or collapse) right in the middle of the handbag area and burst into tears!

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Food confessional time here... The day started out soooo well (strawberries, low fat cottage cheese & fat free yogurt) & then came Jack in the Box... followed by Pizza Hut. I'm still within my calories for the day (by some miracle), but my body just feels yucky from all the crap I put in it. Let this be a good reminder that just because you're eating within your calories does NOT mean you are eating well. If you eat crap... you're gonna feel like crap... regardless of how many calories you've eaten.

And, I might as well confess ahead of time... I plan to indulge in one very bad for me corn dog at the carnival tomorrow. But, it is PLANNED for... and much anticipated... so once again I refer back to my insistence that I do this in a way I can sustain for the long haul - even if it means it takes me a little longer to get where I'm going.

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On a totally unrelated subject, we have a deployment date for The Husband. I can't say exactly when... but soonish I will be playing single Mom yet again (faux single Mom as I call it). We've known it was coming, but its sooner than expected & there is soooo much to be done before he leaves.

And, something I've neglected to mention, I am starting training for a new job on Tuesday! Its a temporary job, lasting eight weeks or so. It will be my first "real" job of any kind since I was pregnant with my son. I'm nervous because its been so long since I've worked. The timing is stressful with deployment quickly approaching & everything that goes along with that. We really need the money & my hours will be roughly the same as The Husband's... so hopefully I can balance everything without losing my mind.

Being a working Mom is totally new to me... I know a lot of you do it... and I need to know HOW? :-)

Explosion Imminent!!!

Sorry this isn't going to be a happy post... so if you need happy you might wanna stop reading now. :) Seriously, I am ready to burst!!! Out of frustration? Regret? Unhappiness? Discontent? A combination of them all?

Today was predetermined to be an out-of-the-ordinary day. Normally, I babysit just on Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday; but my friend had a meeting today, so I knew I'd be baby sitting. In my mind, I planned around that and knew that in order to make both the gym & grocery shopping today one would have to be done this morning. But I was soooo tired that I fell asleep on the sofa after my son got on the bus; next thing I knew it was 10:30... oops. So trying to regroup, I decided I could squeeze both in after my son's therapy sessions tonight. Wrong again! He forgot his coat at the hospital; one of his therapists offered to drop it off & by the time she got here it was too late to attempt both since I have to be home for the night by 6:30 for family responsibilities tonight.

Honestly, I don't know quite why I'm upset to the level I am. Some level of irritation I could rationalize... but really I'm ready to scream , cry or some combination of the two... and its ridiculous. Maybe its because I'm mad at myself for sleeping this morning, knowing it was going to be such a busy day. Maybe its because I procrastinated on getting meals planned & the grocery shopping done. Maybe its because my workouts have been so minimal this week & missing another day is frustrating. Maybe its because I feel myself slipping back into the pattern of letting everything & everyone else come before doing what I need to do to live a healthy lifestyle... and while I know I can't let that happen, finding the balance is feeling totally overwhelming at the moment...

After I'm done with my family stuff tonight, I'm going to spend some serious time trying to figure out a solution... or at least some strategies to try for the next few weeks.... I used to be so much better at this part... I don't know what the heck happened!