Rewards, Setbacks & Baseball

Hey everyone, I had my post 95% written when the news had "breaking news" that totally blew my thought process. Ken Griffey Jr. - my favorite baseball player ever - announced his retirement. I am in mourning!

Yes I know its silly. And yes, I definitely knew the day was coming... but still its sad to see one of the last true professionals in the game call it quits. I don't think I'm exaggerating to say that I was probably one of the happiest people in the area when he returned to Seattle. Seriously, I pre-ordered tickets to last year's home opener - which was an amazing experience - and immediately bought tickets to the final game of last season (anticipating that he would likely retire then). We totally intended to go to a game before The Husband left on deployment, but the Navy schedule didn't let that happen. Have to admit, I'm feeling a bit bitter toward the schedule that kept us from going at the moment... grrrr. Its time to dry my eyes and have my finger on the trigger for when they announce the date of the retirement ceremony at the stadium... cuz you can bet your last dollar I will be there.

Okay now, for my original post...

Do you ever feel like planning is the surest way to have something unexpected happen? I swear just about every time I have a concrete plan something interferes - and typically something major enough I have to alter my plans. Today is a classic example. My plan was to hit the gym this morning, deal with the furniture delivery/babysit in the afternoon and work for a few hours in the evening.

That pretty much all went out the window at 3:30am when I woke up with mystery pain. First the pain was just in the shoulder blade of my previously injured shoulder. By the time I got up with the boy one the pain had spread down my rib cage and the outside of my right "girl" was screaming... not to mention it hurt really bad to take a deep breath. I downed a couple Vicodin with breakfast - hoping that would knock the pain and that by evening I'd be okay to work & get in a condensed workout at least. Apparently, I didn't eat enough food with it because I ended up feeling soooooo sick - like I could hurl or pass out at any given moment. Or maybe it affects me differently with 50 pounds gone from my body... whatever it was not a pleasant experience. I'm feeling better, but think its probably best to take it easy for the evening... so that's what I'm gonna do.

Today has been a bit of a setback - between the pain keeping me out of the gym & just feeling generally icky for so much of the day. Tomorrow is a new day... hopefully a pain free one.

As promised, here's what I plan to do for my rewards for the Deployment Challenge. I'm going to build myself a charm bracelet - either Pandora or Chamilia. Something like this...




Each month will offer me the chance to earn three charms/beads: One for meeting the food goals, one for meeting the exercise goals and one for posting a loss for the month. I like this idea because I can totally customize it to fit my tastes and budget. Its something I will enjoy creating & having, but not something I would ever consider spending the money on just for kicks.

Debbie - I tried to email you about joining me in this... but it said your info was all private, so please email me. :)

I tried a new chicken recipe for dinner tonight. Time to go see how it came out...

Explosion Imminent!!!

Sorry this isn't going to be a happy post... so if you need happy you might wanna stop reading now. :) Seriously, I am ready to burst!!! Out of frustration? Regret? Unhappiness? Discontent? A combination of them all?

Today was predetermined to be an out-of-the-ordinary day. Normally, I babysit just on Tuesday, Wednesday & Friday; but my friend had a meeting today, so I knew I'd be baby sitting. In my mind, I planned around that and knew that in order to make both the gym & grocery shopping today one would have to be done this morning. But I was soooo tired that I fell asleep on the sofa after my son got on the bus; next thing I knew it was 10:30... oops. So trying to regroup, I decided I could squeeze both in after my son's therapy sessions tonight. Wrong again! He forgot his coat at the hospital; one of his therapists offered to drop it off & by the time she got here it was too late to attempt both since I have to be home for the night by 6:30 for family responsibilities tonight.

Honestly, I don't know quite why I'm upset to the level I am. Some level of irritation I could rationalize... but really I'm ready to scream , cry or some combination of the two... and its ridiculous. Maybe its because I'm mad at myself for sleeping this morning, knowing it was going to be such a busy day. Maybe its because I procrastinated on getting meals planned & the grocery shopping done. Maybe its because my workouts have been so minimal this week & missing another day is frustrating. Maybe its because I feel myself slipping back into the pattern of letting everything & everyone else come before doing what I need to do to live a healthy lifestyle... and while I know I can't let that happen, finding the balance is feeling totally overwhelming at the moment...

After I'm done with my family stuff tonight, I'm going to spend some serious time trying to figure out a solution... or at least some strategies to try for the next few weeks.... I used to be so much better at this part... I don't know what the heck happened!

Where's the "Do Over" Button???

Can this be Saturday afternoon? Could yesterday have been some sort of sick, really long, dream? Please??? Hmm... no chance of that happening... so I guess its time to fess up here. I slept in just a little bit, but the husband was anxious to get going for the day. For some reason, he wanted us to go shopping together... wondering what the heck is wrong with him. He rarely wants to go shopping with me, pretty sure he'd rather go to the dentist & have them forget the Novocaine.

In an effort to take advantage of this rare opportunity, I made some regrettable mistakes. I decided that I could skip the gym & failed to pack along snacks for the day. As if that's not all bad enough, when we were off on our shopping trip, I ended up eating Chinese food, ice cream and regular soda. And then when we got home, I ate a freakin hot dog. Seriously, what the heck happened to me???? I really don't know...

On the bright side, I found some awesome deals. Old Navy had the cutest little t-shirts on sale for $5 & an extra half off all of their clearance. It was nice to be able to get some clothes for my constantly growing child & a few t-shirts that will actually fit me well. At Ross, I found some Fit & Fresh containers for really cheap; hoping they will help with packing along quick foods for my busy days (and ones like yesterday). Last find of the day was The Biggest Loser for the Wii on sale for about half price. I hear mixed things about it, but thought for the price it's worth forming my own opinion.

Looking Forward

Today is pretty much my day to prepare for the week ahead - meal planning, gym schedule, family obligations, kids group stuff, a little "me" time - prep day needs to be preloaded with extra hours. :-)

Tomorrow, I get to go shopping at Trader Joes. I love shopping there, but since the nearest one is over an hour away from our house - off the island & north - I don't get to go very often. I have my basic list for there, but if anyone knows of something particularly yummy I'd love to hear about it.

Thank you everyone for the quick & easy food ideas. I'm looking forward to trying them & kicking this Around the World Challenge in the tush!

One of Those Days!

This has been one of those days I knew was going to be a challenge before I ever drug my tush out of bed. My son woke up two short hours after I finally gave up and went to bed... he was ready to be up for the day & just couldn't quiet down (though I think he was TRYING). The husband came in the door all upset over the "rules" of our property managers. We got a bill for putting out six EXTRA trash bags in one week (for a family of three & I recycle like crazy) - I DON'T THINK SO! Anyway, they are making us pay because we can't "prove" we only had our allotted two bins out. The ear buds for my ipod shuffle went "POOF" overnight and are no where to be found... totally sucks you have to use the special ones that come with it because all of the controls are in the ear bud wires. And to round out my list of grievances... the scale was not my friend (up .8) and I have had cramps from hell all day! All of that, though not earth shattering, adds up to STRESS! Ok, sorry for the vent... actually feel a little better to get it all out there.

I don't consider this part of my challenging day... but I skipped the gym & haven't followed my meal plan to the letter. Honestly, my friend George (aka TOM) is causing me a ton of pain & I just didn't feel like pushing my body at the gym. As far as food goes, I've been STARVING all day. My planned meals for the day normally keep me feeling satisfied (not stuffed), so I'm not sure what the problem is. On the bright side, I've eaten extra of the "convenience" foods I made ahead... avoided the drive-thrus (Starbucks was SOOOO tempting) and "The Danger Zone" at the grocery store.

About the scale... sigh... ugh... but I know what caused it; one part my friend George, one part too many restaurant meals and one part not having a meal plan for the week. Even though I can pinpoint the causes I have to admit I'm feeling a bit discouraged. Maybe disappointed is a better word; disappointed with myself for my weaknesses (all the restaurant food & not declining invites) and not making myself a priority (agreeing to do stuff people, know that agreeing would mean sacrificing gym time).

But, onward & upward as they say... Meals are already planned for this whole week. I have two restaurant meals planned over the weekend & adjusted my meal plan for the week to compensate for them as much as possible. Now if I could just figure out the magic fix to the George issue... lol. Oh and disciplining myself to stick to the meal plan would be a nice touch as well. :)

Time to go make dinner - roast beef sandwiches & mushroom soup... yummy!

The Light was ON!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Krispy Kreme donuts, especially when they're hot & fresh. Before I started trying to eat healthier, I would bring them home and stick them in the microwave if they weren't warm. Now, my "rule of the Kreme" is I will only stop there if the light is ON. The light has NOT been on when I was near there in well over a year, but tonight it was ON!!!! Yes, I stopped; yes, I only ordered one for myself; yes, it was warmish; yes, it was tasty (though not as tasty as I remembered in my mind) and yes, limiting myself to one is a HUGE improvement... I used to eat them three at a time if they were hot. But seriously, this could not have happened on a worse day... grrrrr.

The day started well enough. Breakfast was steel cut oats with strawberries, topped with sliced almonds & some fat free milk to drink. If only it continued on so well... but today was a classic example of "failing to plan equals planning to fail." I had a fast food lunch (chicken biscuit, mashed potatoes & gravy) and a slice of grocery store pizza for dinner (it was nasty, I don't know what I was thinking). Then of course followed by the donut.... ugh.

Possible causes for this meltdown of planning: a) I slept-in too long this morning & was in a rush to get to my mom's (it was grocery shopping day for her, which is a story all its own), b) grocery shopping took soooo long, I wanted immediate nourishment when we were done (not that I'm saying the pizza qualifies, especially considering how nasty it tasted) and c) "my friend George" (aka TOM) is trying to come visit early and I feel like curling up in a ball on the sofa.

Ok, confessional over. Tomorrow will be a better day! I will be home, with my planned meals & a trip to the gym (even if I have to ply myself with painkillers to kick the cramps to the curb lol). Plus, tomorrow is meal planning day for the coming week and that always motivates me. :)

Here I Sit, How I Got Here & Where I'm Headed

Here I Sit...

A little more than 43 pounds lighter than the morning I woke up driven to live a healthy life. After a year of steady loss, I got off track for several months - pretty much quit going to the gym & relaxed my food standards WAY too much. Eating whatever looks good in a restaurant is fine when you only eat out a couple times a month... NOT so much when you eat out almost daily... lol. As a result, I sadly must admit that I gained back over 10 pounds of what was lost. In the last month, I've gotten my act together... back to a normal gym routine (though way out of shape again after the "break")... making wise food choices... keeping a food & exercise log and being accountable. Six pounds and six inches eliminated in the past 30 days... pretty happy with those numbers. Now if I could just make it through more than 40 floors on the stairmaster without feeling like I'm dying! :)

How I Got Here...

Looking back - way back - 5th grade was probably the last time I was a "normal" weight (more on that in the future). In the Spring of 2008, I weighed in at the doctor at nearly 250... I told myself it was just because it was afternoon, I'd eaten a big lunch and was wearing heavy clothes. WRONG! The next morning on my scale at home - sans clothing and food - the scale read 241. For some seeing the biggest number ever might have been an immediate wakeup call - not in my case - seems I was too busy with life and taking care of everyone else.

My husband left on deployment #4, 5, or 6 - I've lost count throughout the years. My son & I settled into a routine of home during the week & visiting my mom on some weekends. It was after one of those visits that I woke up soooooo sick to death of being fat I couldn't take it another minute (which is a little strange considering how unbothered I'd always been by my weight... more on that to come too). Its weird to say and probably hard to believe, but after that day my desire for unhealthy foods greatly diminished & my desire to be active greatly increased.

During the first few weeks after that, I was eating way less food than I had been eating - not necessarily any healthier though to be honest - and started to use some of the exercise videos that had been collecting dust in my cabinet. Early in the summer, I finally caved & bought my son a Wii. Of course I had to get myself something for it too... so I bought the Wii Fit. By the end of summer 2008, I was alternating between the videos, the Wii Fit & walks on the beach and had started making healthy food choices on a regular basis. That was my basic method for the next six months.

In February last year - at 209 pounds - I finally got up the courage to go join a gym in town. This was a HUGE step... afterall, I am the girl that did everything in her power to get out of PE in school - from 6th grade on. The thought of exercising in public has always had the ability to make me go from fabulous to nauseous in the blink of an eye. Knowing that I needed to kick things up a notch if I were to keep losing... I put on a nice outfit, grabbed one of my favorite handbags, swallowed the "I wanna hurl" feeling in the pit of my stomach and marched into the newest gym in town. The staff was wonderfully welcoming & right away I felt comfortable there. Shortly after joining the gym, I competed in their "Around the World" Fitness Challenge and completed the entire Challenge. I was one of about a dozen people out of 150 to complete the entire Challenge. This was a MAJOR accomplishment for me - remember gym class escape artist here - I had NEVER done any sort of physical competition in my life. From there I was hooked... at least until I got totally sidetracked by that pesky little thing called life.

On the food front, I choose not to follow a specific "diet" or eating plan... in fact I really detest the "d" word. I firmly believe its all about making healthy food choices for life and not something you can go on or off of. At home, I make a conscience effort to make healthy choices - utilizing recipes and meal ideas from a variety of sources. When I eat in a restaurant, I generally let myself enjoy a meal without worrying too much about the calories/fat in it. As stated, this works out okay when restaurants are the occasional treat - otherwise, I don't recommend it.

I have used the Myfooddidary.com website to track my activity since the beginning. It has proven helpful in many ways, such as seeing not just the calories I'm eating, but the nutritional value of the foods I'm putting in my body. I LOVE it and think its so worth the $9 a month.

Where I'm Headed...

Looking toward life as a Deliberate Skinny Chick - aka reformed Accidental Fat Chick. I don't know what that means as far as a number on the scale or a jeans size. My current size is the smallest I've been in my adult life - I have no clue what 180, 170, 160, or150lbs will look like or what size those numbers will equal in the jeans department. Can't wait to find out!

The current game plan: Stick with the 2-4-8-10 Challenge & be prepared when the new "Around the World" Challegen kicks off. Increase the intensity of my gym workouts & find ways to add more active motion to my daily routines. Possibly do The Big Climb in Seattle... if I have a friend or two to do it with me. Fine tune my meal plans - especially to reduce the number of calories I drink.

My husband leaves for yet another deployment in May... my ultimate goal would be to finish what I started when he was gone the last time and be at an ideal healthy weight when he comes home in December. 50 pounds in 10 months... I know I can do it!

What is your ultimate goal?