Solitude Has Its Place...

After yesterday's emotional trauma, I woke up knowing I needed some time for myself. I was planning on a visit to the gym, but when I saw the gorgeous blue skies I knew there was no way I could be stuck inside for a workout. Considering it is quickly headed toward mid-October, days like this are going to be few & far between so being the logical person that I am it made sense to head to one of my favorite places on the island.

This place has miles of trails - some where you feel like you're "lost" deep within the forest, some that parallel the water line & some that do both... like the ones I chose today. It starts out a little like this...

A nice, level tree lined path with all sorts of vegetation on either side. There were hundreds of mushrooms through this area... no clue if they were the edible kind or not.

Then you round the bend to find yourself right on the edge of this high bluff & have this gorgeous view. One could fall over the edge from gaping at the view if they weren't careful.

After walking that trail, which loops around, I decided to go to the lower section... which leads you to this...

Now, I've stood at this point before... looked up the incredibly steep side of the bluff and thought there was no way that was ever going to happen. It's steep, all dirt, and there is nothing to grab if you lose your footing. No thank you... too dangerous for my blood. I kind of like my limbs all intact... thank you very much.

Well... today was different. I hesitated only a moment before deciding to go for it! I don't know what came over me - maybe it was the "screw it all" mood I'm in after yesterday - whatever it was I charged straight ahead.

What you can't see in the picture & don't realize until you're part way up is that the upward climb continues for a good 20-30 feet beyond what you can see in the picture. Once I started, I knew there was no stopping and no turning back. Up is the only way to go... unless you want to slide down on your butt (that MIGHT work). Despite going at a snail's pace in a couple of spots, I NEVER once stopped moving. No breaks all the way to the top!

Here I am - at the top - feeling accomplished in a way I haven't for quite some time.

I took a couple minute breather before continuing on - during which I posted on facebook that I was dead and asked people to attend my funeral. I typed it in there jokingly... but you know the more I've thought about it... there is actually some truth to it. The "me" that has so many times looked at that exact bluff (and other huge physical obstacles) and immediately written them off as too difficult or made excuses for not being able to do them is dead and gone. In this area of my life, I'm not afraid to take on new challenges anymore. I may not do things as fast or with the skill of another person... but I can do them and feel good for my efforts. That said... let's have a PARTY instead of a funeral. :)

After my breather, I took the trail one mile in the other direction. This part of the trail starts out right along the edge of the bluff (and it was windy, unlike the other side) and then winds up and down through foresty areas. There were parts where it was so steep you had to run down the trail to keep from falling, muddy parts, rocky parts, parts where I was sure a bear might jump out at me. Then it opened to the gorgeous beach area... where I veered off the trail and sat on a log for a good 20 minutes... letting the sea spray hit me in the face... watching the waves roll in.

All in all, I ended my walk (okay more of a hike) at 3 miles. I could have kept going but the sun was sinking in the sky and by the end I really was getting nervous about animals in the woods.

For me, sometimes solitude & time alone with my thoughts is a good thing; other times its a bad thing. Today it was a good thing. It reaffirmed that this is the life I want. A life where I can get out and tackle whatever physical endeavor I choose - without worrying about my size, my health, or my emotions hindering me. And, anyone who truly loves me will support me and encourage me to keep on keeping on with it!

Adios to the 200s... AGAIN! & Vacation Report At Last

Again... and for the absolute LAST time... I have said farewell to a number on the scale that starts with 2. I swear it will NEVER, EVER happen again! When I hopped on the scale this morning and it read 198.8 I could have done a happy dance... it was a like a huge sigh of relief to see that I am recovering fairly quickly from my vacation gain.

Jeans in 15 has now become jeans in 12.8.

And back to the vacation.. long overdue... but I want to share my adventure with you. It was seriously one of the most active vacations I've ever been on... which I guess is why I was a little surprised by the amount I gained (even though I ate like a pig at way too many good restaurants). Sorry I don't have pictures to add at the moment, they are stuck on a different computer. :(

Day one of my vacation, I went to preschool, lol. My niece is a preschool teacher and she had one more day of work before her vacation started. We took the kids to a park to play, it was about a six block walk each direction. Then on her lunch hour we walked about four blocks each way to get food. Oh and that night after she was off work we went to REI and I got some awesome hiking boots on clearance for a great deal (I LOVE me a bargain!).

Day two was antique stores, bead store & laundry... nothing too exciting.

Day three we took the ferry from Oakland to Fisherman's Wharf. We walked all over, including a several block trek to find a Starbucks (apparently its the only coffee she finds to be worth drinking). That would also be the day we ate at both Bubba Gump and the Hard Rock Cafe.... and I don't regret a single food choice I made that day.

Day four we visited Point Reyes Lighthouse out on the California coast. It was breathtakingly beautiful & freezing cold. The winds were intense and even though we had bundled for winter, it was still chilly. The walk from the parking area to the lighthouse area is something near a mile I think. But its the trek from there to the lighthouse that makes this an intense active experience, they even have a sign posted warning people how strenuous it is. The stairs that lead to the lighthouse are equal to a 30-story building! Going down was naturally easier than coming up. Before we started back up, I joked that we were about to put all my stairmaster time to the test. Turns out that all the effort on the stairmaster really has paid off... I was able to easily do the 30 stories back up & actually sprinted most of the way. When I got to the top I was barely even breathing hard & didn't break a sweat!!!! Seriously a year ago even, that would have been a VERY different story! I was pretty proud of myself and even considered going back to the bottom to do it a second time. Truthfully the only that stopped me was the wind blowing 40mph all around me. If you ever get the chance to visit, do it! Its so worth it, both from the exercise standpoint and the sheer beauty of the place.

Day five was another AWESOME day! We started out by meeting my brother and sister in law for lunch. I hadn't seen my brother for a couple years, thought I wasn't going to see him this trip, so this was a great surprise for me. After lunch, we set out for the Golden Gate Bridge. We parked and took some pictures from the park that overlooks the bridge. Let's just say I wasn't thinking clearly, 40mph winds up there and I was in shorts and a little tank top. By the time I got back to the car I couldn't feel my fingers. Next, we walked across both spans of the bridge to the San Fransisco side and back.... round trip is right around four miles. For the walk I was smart enough to grab a jacket, but my legs were like giant icicles by the time we got back to the car. Walking across the bridge was amazing... it totally ranks right up there with top moments in my life. There was just something about experiencing such a well-known historic landmark in that way that is hard to put into words.

By day six, I was admittedly a bit on the sore side after two really active days in a row. But nevertheless, we went to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. It was a lot of fun. We saw the dolphin show and whale show. The dolphins drenched me, so I spent the rest of the day drying out... not so fun. This was another one of those little victories... being able to truly experience and enjoy the park with NO worries about fitting on the rides. Its amazing how something so simple can lead to such feelings of freedom and inner-peace.

So there it is... the run down on the most active vacation of my life. All in all it was a great trip and I have to say in addition to being the most active... it was also the most fulfilling vacation I've ever been on.

Next stop on my travels.... CHICAGO!!! I can't wait...

Around the World Challenge Wrap Up.... Finally

Note to self (and anyone who will listen): do not get sick while completing a major gym challenge & starting a new job... but if you must don't be stubborn and deny it until it turns into bronchitis. Yeah, that pretty much sums up what I've managed to do to myself in the last ten days.

The challenge has been done for over a week & I'm just now getting to updating you on the outcome... geez I told ya I'm waaaayyyyy behind here, lol. Honestly, I work well under pressure (the deadline drives me), but I HATE getting behind. And I've been missing blogging like crazy... my body says rest though... and I've been trying to listen.

As for the results... I don't have full results. You'll also notice I don't have post challenge pics - have to find time for someone to take them still, lol. The guy that did my measurements at the end did not do them in the same places as the girl who did them at the beginning & he insisted on measuring over my clothes. I was really frustrated because I wanted to see the true numbers. With his method of measuring I lost about 2" each from my waist & hips. I can tell that I lost inches in areas that they didn't measure for the Challenge. My weight loss was 6 lbs during the six weeks of the challenge. Not too bad, but not quite what I was hoping for. However, I do want to make it really clear that I increased my calorie intake considerably during the Challenge. I didn't want to rapidly drop weight in a manner that I can't sustain for the long term. And as much as I'd like to say I could... I don't think three hour workouts six days a week is something I can maintain.

The awards ceremony - complete with lunch - was Saturday. Now before I talk about the prizes, I have to tell you all I was FLOORED when they carried in 12 large pizzas & bread sticks from Little Caesars!!! Seriously, here we are at the gym challenge awards & they serve pizza???? Am I the only one that thinks that was a little out of place? I did not eat pizza, but had three bread sticks (they were the little ones) with fruit & veggies.

Now for the awards part... my name was chosen three times! But you can only keep one prize - I ended up with a $50 gift certificate for a local antique store. I'm totally happy with that since I love antiques & vintage stuff. My other choices when I was chosen were for a restaurant or rounds of golf. Once again, I have stop and ask why I would want to reward myself with food?!? These prizes are from "corporate sponsors" of the Challenge... so I understand there will be a variety of prizes, but still. My BFF Erika (yes the one I've been so frustrated with recently) won a family bowling package (which includes pizza, go figure). She was also the Women's Body Composition winner for our location! She was totally shocked, but I wasn't too surprised because I could see a big difference in her from the beginning.

Erika & I were two of only six people to complete the entire challenge for our gym location. The other location that combined with us for the awards had five people complete the entire thing. So out of 200 participants only 11 people finished the whole thing! I was a little bummed because they have decided to stop giving out the individual plaques for those who do the whole thing. I was looking really forward to adding another one to the wall in my office... but they are going to do a wall display inside the gym with all the names on it. I guess that's cool too because I can look at it every time I workout in the gym.

Kind of a cool experience. I was in Walmart with The Husband on Sunday night & two people stopped me to congratulate me on finishing the whole challenge! They were both people that completed part of it. I think it totally caught The Husband by surprise... which was amusing considering his general attitude about the whole thing. :-)

I had this whole post in my mind about my reflections from the challenge... but since I'm playing catch up its time to abbreviate I suppose. Conquering a huge goal brings a huge sense of empowerment... but as I've said before there is a feeling of peace that comes with it as well. Not only peace, but a feeling self-security... knowing that you can do what you need to do for yourself.

Beyond that the biggest thing I'm left with this year is a "stop the I can't" mentality because... I CAN. Let me explain... I'm one of those people that gets bored on any given piece of cardio equipment after a short time. 20 minutes on the elliptical & I'm ready to bolt... treadmill is about 10 minutes at best. This has led me (and I've heard others say it too) to say "I can't do more than 30 minutes." Well the simple truth is I CAN do quite a bit longer than that IF I choose to. Believe it or not, I discovered that the first 30 minutes is the most difficult. By the time you hit 30 minutes all of those little aches and pains that we so often use as excuses for stopping have subsided (or I suspect numbed away, lol). It actually got to the point where it was easier to stay on a single machine for a full hour than to split that hour between a pair of machines.

One other thing that I really noticed this year was the difference that skipping breaks can make. For example, I used to do the StairMaster in 15 minute increments - with a two minutes break in between - for a total of 30-45 minutes. I did this to catch my breath and let my heart rate recover a little. But when I would start again, it was hard to get going. I think those little breaks gave my brain just enough time to tell my legs that they were tired of climbing. Midway through the challenge, I started going all the way down to level one for my recovery periods rather than stopping. This helped immensely and I was able to climb for much longer periods... up to two hours on one crazy night.

The overall take away from the Challenge (barring injury & illness).... WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE SET OUR MINDS TO... its just a matter of being brave (or crazy) enough to set our minds to things that will truly push us to new levels!

Now that I've written an entire short story, its time to take the boy one to therapy & then off to be a "good" government employee for a few hours. My "advisers" have weighed in & with any luck I'll be back to share my next "crazy challenge" with you all soon!

Btw - My one and only May goal is to make healthy choices in restaurants... more to come on that later. :)

The One You've Been Waiting For!

Around the World is DONE!!!

I FINISHED!!! All parts of the Challenged Completed!!!

332 Circuit Sets

279 Core Sets

378 Free Sets

48 miles on Elliptical

38.1 miles on treadmill

150 miles on bike

2,100 floors on StairMaster

In six weeks... well five, if I subtract the week I missed when we went to visit The Husband's family. Holy crapola! I can't believe I got it all done... well I can because I wasn't gonna accept anything less... but still there were moments when it almost didn't seem worth it.

Its a funny thing to finish... you would think there would be some mini-celebration or at least a huge sigh of relief. But there isn't... there is quiet and a calm feeling knowing that its done. And in this case, there was one delicious Strawberry Fields smoothie involved.

The rest of the day I devoted to relaxation, even though I have a ton of stuff to do this week & the new job starting bright n early Tuesday morning. I curled up on the sofa with a blanket and book. I chatted on the phone. I texted with friends. And I napped... or maybe I should say I became comatose on the sofa for a couple hours. I think you probably could have picked up the sofa and moved it without me waking up.

My reflections on the Challenge experience will be coming soon... maybe when I've replaced the brain cells that left my body disguised as sweat, lol.

Time for me to sleep... but not without an extra special THANK YOU to all of my faithful cheerleaders! I really don't know if I could have made it through without all of your support in the final days. You rock!!!

PS - Especially for Drazil - I do hereby promise to eat HUGE amounts of food with you! But I refuse to dawn a bikini, lol. :)

Here in the Real World...

No returns necessary (at least not today).

At the beginning of December I found these cute Tinker Bell pjs at Walmart. I know, I know I'm not a fan of Walmart clothes... but their pjs are a different story alltogether & besides Alana (the little girl I babysit LOVES Tinker Bell). Anyway, I got them home & they were way too small. They've been sitting on the dresser, needing to be returned ever since. I picked them up today & thought to myself I wonder...

And the answer was YES! They do indeed fit now... still a little snug... but no return needed on this wonderful day!

The Best Laid Plans fall victim....

I had a serious craving for Mexican food... and I learned a long time ago if its a true craving you just as well get it out of your system and move on. God only knows how many calories I've ended up eating trying to "cure" a craving to no avail.

So I had these lucious Fajita Nachos.... But I did order the half order and scraped off most of the sour cream. And.... look at this... I left a good portion of the chips on my plate!

That's serious progress for me... especially when there was still half a bowl of salsa on the table... and I have a HUGE weakness for chips & salsa.

My son is just finishing his therapy sessions for the day... I'm off to feed him dinner & then conquer another day of Around the World... wish me luck!!! :)

Outfit in the Window & Scale Day

Before we get to talking about the outfit... today was scale day. I was a little anxious stepping on the scale, not quite a livin on a prayer moment though. My food choices were fairly decent throughout the week, but there were a few times when I probably ate more than I needed & then there was the yummy lunch out with Erika on Saturday. Plus my friend George is due to arrive any moment now & we all know the lovely things he can do to your body. The results: -1.6 lbs! I'm totally satisfied with that & feel like I'm getting back into the groove of things. Another five pounds & I'll be back to where I was when I fell off the wagon. Its exciting to be that close to that number again... but nerve wracking too. I swear its like I get to a certain point & do something to sabotage myself for some unknown reason. Not this time though, I'm determined!

Do you ever feel like you're your own worst enemy when it comes to reaching your goals?

In case I've failed to mention it at some point, I LOVE shopping. Some people would call it a passion... The Husband probably refers to it as a curse when he's shooting the breeze with his buddies and complaining about it to my mother-in-law. Anyhow, until the last couple years shopping was probably the most physically active thing I did on a regular basis... sad I know. The thing is I feel like I'm good at shopping... I mean I've gotten really skilled at finding bargains for just about anything I want; its rare that I pay full price for anything. Also, not news to you I'm sure (but to the skinny people of the world perhaps), you've got to be pretty savvy in the shopping department if you're gonna find anything resembling cute clothes to fit a chubbo body like mine was (is).

To set the stage for shopping opportunities on the island: We have Kmart, Walmart, the NEX (on base) and a few specialty stores. The Husband will tell you (and I can hardly argue anymore), I can be more than a wee bit picky when it comes to my clothes. While I won't refuse to buy something just because its at Kmart or Walmart, the chances of me finding something that I like (and fits well) is slim to none. Needless to say, clothes shopping for me meant a 40 minute drive to the nearest mall. Then one blessed day I was driving down our narrow little main street & spotted a sign in the window at Maurices advertising their new plus size section.

Cute clothes, reasonable prices, no 40 minute drive... I was hooked! My first visit there, I needed nearly the biggest size they had in plus; but somehow I was okay with that because hey the clothes were cute. Walking in I'd always look to the right (the regular sizes) & think "I wish," as I turned to the left (the plus sizes). The ladies that work in this store are fantastic, very supportive & encouraging! When I started losing, they immediately noticed & each time I visit the store for smaller jeans they celebrate with me. We've had this goal for several months now, that one day I'd be able to walk in the store & buy the outfit in the window from the right side of the store.

This past Saturday it finally happened!!! I can't tell you how thrilling it was for me. Not only was I able to buy the outfit in the window from the right side of the store... I didn't have to buy it in the biggest size. No XXL, No XL... just LARGE! They were having a decent sale, buy one get one 1/2 off, but of course this outfit wasn't included in the sale. But you know something... I bought it anyway... what can I say? Sometimes a a girls just gotta have the outfit in the window!

Now the questions, tights or no tights? Flats or sandals?

Look What I Found & What I did (Again!)

This is a picture of me at The Husband's reenlistment ceremony in January 2004.

I'm guessing this is somewhere close to my highest weight - probably mid-230s or so. Is it weird that even though I've never felt overly bothered by my weight on an emotional level, looking at the picture makes me want to cry? I almost don't recognize the person in the picture... its like I never saw myself as a fat person though I clearly was (still am). How's that for denial???? Seriously, look at my face - all that extra chin & the chubby, chubby cheeks? How did I manage to miss that?

Finding this picture couldn't have come at a better time. I've been struggling to see a difference lately, even when I look at my progress pics they seem somehow minimal to me. But this pic is soooo eye opening for me. I think sometimes I get so caught up in how far I still have to go that I lose sight of just how far I've come. Does that happen to you?

Ok so I borrowed the picture from before because I didn't have my camera with me today, but YES, I burned over 1,000 calories in about 90 minutes at the gym. I started out on the StairMaster & did 111 floors!!! That's the most I've done probably since last year's Around the World Challenge. My legs felt like they could keep right on climbing, but my heart rate had different ideas on the subject, so finally I stopped. I also put in a solid hour on one of the wuss bikes.

I spent the afternoon in "commihell" aka the Commissary on base. The place becomes its own kind of hell when its busy, especially the Sunday of a payday weekend. You would swear its the last day the place is ever going to be open & people have to get their food that very day or risk starvation! Granted they are closed on Mondays, but geesh its nuts the way people swoop in there and inhale things from the shelves. Why did I choose to torture myself by going there today you ask? Around the World is starting & I was committed (I may need to be commited after shopping, lol) to getting the cupboards stocked in advance. A closterphobic person would have needed some seriously therapy to recover from the experience today, it was insanely busy & well picked over by the time we got there. But, thankfully (for me) the shoppers that came before me must not have been interested in healthful eating. With the exception of a couple items, all of the things on my healthy list were there waiting for me.

Where did the time go? I can't believe its already the start of Around the World!!! While I'm not as prepared as I was hoping to be, I feel like I've made enough progress that if I work hard the next few days getting stuff prepared I will be okay. If I don't wake up unable to move after the 111 floors on the StairMaster, I will share all of the challenge specifics again in the morning. Plus, I have news from my Saturday shopping trip to share too. :-)

What is on your agenda for the upcoming week?

Wishing you all a fantastic week! :-)

1,000+ in 90 Minutes!

No, not 1,000 calories consumed in 90 minutes lol. Today is the first time in my year at the gym that I can verify I burned over 1,000 calories in a single workout. According to my heart rate monitor, for a 90 minute session, I typically burn 800-900 calories. Today I kicked up the intensity a notch and was rewarded. :)



I'm curious to know how many calories others burn in a "typical" workout.